Dear Abby Responses

Dear Abby: I’ve been aware of my hearing loss for some time now, and it took me four years to persuade my husband to get his hearing checked. When he finally did, the results showed he had a significant decline. These days, he seems to be mentally fading and is refusing any kind of medical check-ups. I’ve told him that if he doesn’t get tested soon to potentially halt this decline, I won’t be able to support him when he becomes really impaired. What should I do? — California’s Ultimatum

Dear Ultimatum: This is a tough situation. When dementia begins, often the person affected isn’t fully aware of it. I hope your husband visits a doctor regularly. If that’s the case, consider talking to the doctor about your worries so they can discreetly assess your husband during his next appointment.

If he doesn’t have a doctor, reaching out to the Alzheimer’s Association could be helpful; they can provide specific guidance. Be patient and persistent. Remember, these changes aren’t his fault, and his reluctance to seek help may stem from fear.

Dear Abby: When my daughter hit her teenage years, my friends and I started sharing clothes with her. I told my daughter that if anything went missing or got damaged, I wasn’t responsible for replacing it. She claimed to understand, but then lost or damaged a few items. One notable incident was with a tennis sweater she borrowed from a friend whose parents I’m not close with. When I did laundry, the sweater ended up shrinking because it was mixed with clothes that didn’t need special care.

I first noticed the issue when I took the clothes out of the dryer. I brought it to my daughter’s attention, but she didn’t seem concerned and returned it to her friend. Not long after, I received a heated call from the girl’s mother demanding $75 for the sweater that her daughter lent without my permission.

I explained to my daughter that she should be responsible since she had borrowed the sweater without first checking with her friend’s mother. She got upset and insisted how much she loved the sweater, but I held my ground. Was I in the wrong? — New Jersey Teachable Moments

Important Teachable Moments: You weren’t responsible for reimbursing the mother for the sweater. Your daughter should have asked for permission before lending it out, just like anyone should when borrowing clothes. If someone owes the mother a sweater, it suggests your daughter didn’t follow the agreed rules, which led to the damage.

To Muslim readers: It’s sunset, the moment to break the Ramadan fast. Happy Eid Al Fitr to everyone. — Love, Abby