New Advice Columnists from the Podcast “Grandma, I’m Sorry”
Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein, who host the popular podcast “Grandma, I’m Sorry,” are now offering their insights as the Post’s new advice columnists.
The duo explores various issues, tackling everything from family disputes to financial concerns and intimate relationships. They bring diverse viewpoints to each topic, providing honest takes on navigating challenging conversations. Their guidance will likely leave readers feeling grateful.
To have your questions addressed, visit nypost.com/ema and share your organizational needs.
Seeking Advice on Intimacy
Question: As I age, I find myself increasingly uncomfortable discussing sex. I want to improve my intimacy with my partner. How can couples reintroduce these conversations after years of silence?
Kim: Grandma Gail?
Grandma Gail: Sex can be fun at a younger age, but it evolves into something richer as we age. It’s not just about passion anymore; it’s more about connection. With time, desires change.
Intimacy may not always involve physical acts. Simple gestures, like holding hands or sharing deep conversations, might take precedence over traditional views of sex. For many older couples, these moments matter just as much.
Kim: Some folks still want to maintain an active sex life as they grow older, right?
Grandma Gail: Absolutely! If they desire it, they should seek those experiences.
Kim: It explains the demand for products like Viagra among older adults. Seems there’s definitely interest in maintaining intimacy.
Grandma Gail: Yes! Yet, as we age, the focus shifts from the physical act to a deeper craving for connection and intimacy.
Kim: So, folks in their 50s and beyond will notice that their desires have shifted since their younger days.
Grandma Gail: Well, that’s not universally true.
Kim: If a couple hasn’t engaged in intimate conversation for ages, how do they open up now?
Grandma Gail: Starting the conversation is key. Even at 70 or 80, initiating intimacy isn’t lost. It often happens naturally when you’re close and comfortable. It’s the togetherness that becomes more important over time.
Kim: But what if they haven’t had that connection in a while?
Grandma Gail: It’s crucial to address this. Many women may lose interest as they age, and some men might face challenges regardless of medication. Intimacy will evolve, but it often flows more naturally with age.
Kim: If something feels off…?
Grandma Gail: A simple approach—like holding hands or putting an arm around your partner—can lead to positive outcomes.
Kim: Got it. So varying your physical touches may be helpful…?
Grandma Gail: Yes, but remember, by 80, mobility may be limited. Physical gestures may not be as easy, so it’s about finding what works for you.
Kim: I see now why some hold back even in their 80s. Thank you for the insights!
Discussing Breakups and Shared Pets
Question: I’ve lived with my boyfriend for five years, but we constantly argue. I think our relationship might be ending, but we share a dog, and I want to keep him. How do we navigate a breakup when our pet is involved?
Grandma Gail: That’s a tough spot.
Kim: It can be really messy, almost like having to juggle custody. It’s heartbreaking.
Grandma Gail: It’s essential to work these things out without expecting marriage to solve everything. Pets are precious, and disputes over custody can get expensive.
Kim: Pets truly are family members.
Grandma Gail: They are. Perhaps consider temporary custody, like taking the dog for a week or so, and then rotating, especially if you’ve been quarrelling for five years—it probably needs to end.
Kim: The issues are twofold: the constant fighting and what happens to the dog post-breakup.
Grandma Gail: You shouldn’t stay just for the pet. The relationship’s worth isn’t tied solely to the dog’s presence, and it’d be unfortunate to endure a toxic situation because of it. It’s messy, no doubt.
Kim: So perhaps sharing the pet by the month or during holidays might work?
Grandma Gail: Yes, certain arrangements could be possible. I wish you luck.
Kim: But the thing is, coordinating with an ex over a dog can be tricky after a breakup. You might not want to see or interact with them again, yet here they are, in your life.
It’s typically better not to get a pet with someone unless you’re committed. Breakups occur, and you don’t want to find yourself in a tangled situation.
Grandma Gail: Absolutely.
Kim: I wouldn’t want to share a pet with a partner either.
Grandma Gail: Best to avoid it if possible; there are enough issues to navigate without adding pets into the mix.
