I’ve had a similar experience two times recently. I connected with a man about my age—probably in his 50s or 60s. During our conversation, we discovered a common interest, and I felt a spark of excitement at the idea of forming a new friendship.
Interestingly, we didn’t touch on politics at all. I certainly didn’t bring it up, which was kind of refreshing, to be honest.
They should be enjoying golf and awaiting their grandchildren instead of advocating for transgender rights or participating in pride events.
As it turned out, our talks centered around our children, or lack thereof in my case. Both men were in a similar boat.
That’s when things took a turn. One revealed that he had a gay daughter, while the other mentioned he has a transgender son.
Support for Their Kids
In both discussions, I nodded along, as if it was completely normal to delve into these personal matters. In my progressive city, it certainly feels that way.
To my surprise, both fathers were genuinely supportive of their LGBTQ+ children. Well, of course. They are their kids!
I joined in their camaraderie to show my own support for their families.
Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that these situations often harbor more complexities. Are their kids truly identifying as such? Are they experimenting? Or just contemplating?
Every time a parent shares their child’s identity as gay or transgender, I wonder what the child will say in a year or two.
Many young people now feel almost obligated to question their sexual orientation and gender identity, after years of societal messages encouraging them to explore.
Schools and communities have conveyed, “Being gay is great! Maybe you should consider it.” But, is that really representative? Most people identify as heterosexual, so why the push in other directions?
What’s the reason behind this involvement in youth sexuality?
Complications for Parents
I’ve also noticed that there’s little talk about how these situations affect the parents themselves. Navigating a child’s transgender or gay identity can be quite challenging.
It feels as if parents must accept that this dialogue on identity is beneficial, which nudges them toward progressive views.
That can be stressful—it’s not something older generations dealt with when they were growing up.
Many of them were simply married and raised kids, without grappling with such questions themselves.
This cultural shift isn’t about individual choices. I mean, I believed I could follow whatever path I desired. That’s what America felt like.
Related: Is drag queen story hour back?
Fluid Identity
Reflecting on this, I think of my best friend whose son came out as gay during high school.
She totally supported him. But, at one point, she shared her worries about possibly never hearing little feet around the house again.
Two years later, her son declared he was no longer gay, making that worry seem for nothing.
Then, the following year, he started dating a transgender person. What a whirlwind of emotions that was for her!
Yet, she struggled to express any discomfort for fear of being labeled intolerant.
Not Quite Friends
As for the two men I met, it’s probably unlikely that we’ll go on to date. They have a lot on their plates, dealing with their children’s identities.
It’s supposed to be a time for them to let their kids take flight, their “empty nest” phase.
They’ve raised good kids and fulfilled their parental duties. They should be out playing golf and enjoying time with future grandkids, not advocating for transgender issues.
But caring for their children means they want to help in any way they can.
The Changing Narrative
Historically, older men tended to grow more conservative over time. But that pattern seems altered now.
Nowadays, older generations are significantly affected by LGBTQ+ politics, even more so than their children. I gather that’s just what some in the LGBTQ+ community want—anything that shakes the foundations of traditional families seems acceptable to them.
