Dear Abby: I’m not a fan of my son’s girlfriend, “Trish,” and he’s aware of it. She seems like a poor match for him, maybe it strokes his ego, but I don’t think it’s great for young women like her.
The first time I met Trish wasn’t impressive at all. She came off as rude and disrespectful. He claims she was just “nervous,” but honestly, if you’re the only person there, it’s basic courtesy to say hello when someone enters.
I can’t say if my son will marry Trish, but this isn’t the kind of person I pictured as my future daughter-in-law. I don’t want to just tolerate her; I want to genuinely love her. Trish hasn’t made any effort to connect with our family and doesn’t even know his siblings. It feels like she doesn’t consider us a part of his life. How can I persuade him to seek a better partner? — Anxious Mom in Virginia
Dear Mom: You might be worrying unnecessarily about whether your son will marry this girl. However, it’s essential to try to be friendly toward Trish rather than seeing her as an adversary. Without being intrusive, perhaps learn about her background. What’s her relationship with her mother like? Does she understand basic etiquette? (Maybe she hasn’t been taught.) If you can reach out—even just a little—you might find yourself with a daughter-in-law you actually care for instead of someone you merely tolerate. Good luck.
Dear Abby: About a year and a half ago, I met someone online, whom I’ll refer to as “Drew.” We really clicked and have been in daily contact, often multiple times a day. Drew has become my best friend. Eventually, I realized I fell deeply in love with him.
We’ve met in person several times, which only reinforced my feelings. I feel safe and valued when I’m around him, and I would do anything for him if he asked. The twist? He doesn’t seem to ask me anything.
Drew is in a committed relationship. I doubt my feelings are reciprocated, but I know I’m a valued friend to him. I’m unsure of how to move forward. Telling him how I feel is out of the question, and I can’t bear to lose this friendship that means so much to me. Is it feasible to maintain this? How do we navigate these emotions? — Someone who is not his boyfriend in Canada
Dear Non-Boyfriend: Here’s the thing: it’s crucial to have an honest conversation with Drew about your situation. You should find out if his partner is aware of you. When someone spends so much time texting and communicating, it usually indicates there’s more than just friendship happening. If everything is fine on Drew’s side, it’s important to clarify. But if your feelings are indeed mutual, then you both need to give some serious consideration to what that means.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, known as Jeanne Phillips, and it originated with her mother, Pauline Phillips. For more about Dear Abby, contact: www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
