Updated July 2, 2026, 10:50 a.m. ET
Cody Pharis didn’t pay much attention to the rash on his legs at first. A year before, he experienced swollen lymph nodes, but they seemed insignificant. Perhaps it was just contact dermatitis or maybe a vitamin deficiency—whatever it was, he thought he was okay.
Over the next four years, minor rashes kept appearing. Then things took a serious turn. His tongue developed a white coating from thrush, his hair started falling out, and he struggled to maintain his weight. Initially, he brushed it off as part of aging or the stress from his warehouse job. Eventually, he decided to visit a doctor, and that’s when he found out the harsh reality.
Pharis was diagnosed with HIV, which had progressed to AIDS because it went untreated for so long. It felt as if he was on the verge of death—because he was.
Looking back, Pharis believes that if his symptoms had been ignored for another year, he might not be alive today. But with the right medication, he is alive and using his experiences to raise awareness about HIV, urging others to get tested and disclose their status to potential partners—information he wishes he had received earlier.
“It felt like I was in the twilight zone,” he remembers of his diagnosis. “I just couldn’t believe this was happening to me.”
He never had an STD. Then came an AIDS diagnosis.
Pharis had never contracted a sexually transmitted disease before getting HIV. He preferred monogamy and practiced safe sex. He suspects he got HIV from a former boyfriend, who, he claims, lied about his HIV status throughout their relationship, even as Pharis began showing serious symptoms.
“Whenever I would complain about feeling ill, he’d just brush it off, saying, ‘You’re fine. Let me make you some tea,’” Pharis recalls.
He vividly remembers the experience of living with AIDS, a disease that claimed many lives, particularly among gay men, during the ’80s and early ’90s. For Pharis, it nearly stripped him of everything. He lost his job due to his illness’s toll, which made it hard to manage his demanding shifts.
“I was so thin. I couldn’t gain weight. I worked 12-hour shifts driving a forklift. Everything felt like a struggle,” he explains. “It was like a million needles jabbing at you, making it hard to move. I thought it was just aging or my job. But no, it was a virus attacking my immune system.”
His AIDS went undiagnosed for too long. Now, he’s speaking out.
In some states, failing to disclose an HIV-positive status before having sex can be a crime. Pharis advocates for transparency regarding HIV status to combat the shame and denial that often leads to secrecy. He aims to provide hope, emphasizing that with treatment, reaching an undetectable viral load is possible, meaning that the virus cannot be transmitted sexually. Additionally, medications like PrEP can lower the risk of contracting HIV.
Many on social media have rallied around Pharis, including Philip Lewis, a therapist specializing in gay men’s mental health. He notes the importance of finding community support when dealing with an HIV diagnosis or any chronic illness.
“At least talk to one person who’s supportive,” Lewis advises. “There’s a sense of grief; your life is changing.”
Now that his HIV is undetectable and he’s in good health, Pharis is focused on rebuilding his life piece by piece. “Helping others gives me hope,” he says. “I genuinely believe things will improve, but it’s on me to make that happen.”
