Rather than packing their young children for the night and sending them to spend the night at a friend’s house, there’s a new trend among some parents across the United States.
This is called a “sleeper” or “late over,” where parents pick up their children before bedtime.
To learn more about what’s driving this trend, Fox News Digital spoke to two psychologists and one parent about why some parents prefer their kids to sleep in their own beds. I heard the story.
Erica Komisar, a New York-based psychoanalyst, parenting expert, and author, says, “Sleep deprivation and staying up late can be especially helpful for younger children, those with separation anxiety, and children who are more susceptible to sleep and transition issues.” This is especially helpful for young children.”
She said the practice is not necessarily about overprotective parents. It’s about being sensitive to the needs of each individual child.
“Some kids have no problem having sleepovers, but others don’t feel comfortable changing their routine,” she says.
Nicolette Rienza, MD, LPCC-S, a psychotherapist at LifeStance Health in Beachwood, Ohio, says the trend of pseudo sleepovers involves having children spend the night at someone else’s home. He said it was a good compromise for worried parents. Fox News Digital.
Here are the details:
What is the cause of your parents’ anxiety about today’s sleepover?
Lianza said there are concerns that children may be put in harm’s way when they stay in someone else’s home.
“The fear that there might be a gun in the house, or that a child might become a potential victim of sexual abuse, would make any parent paranoid about sending their child to spend the night elsewhere.” That’s enough to make me anxious,” she says.
Neha J., who lives in New York and asked that her last name not be used to protect her privacy, has a 9-year-old daughter. She and her spouse have a strict no sleepover policy.
“It’s something that me and my husband have both grown up with. We’re not comfortable with our daughter going to sleepovers,” she said.
The mother, who is the inventor of a puzzle game for young people that focuses on improving cognitive and decision-making skills, said the couple usually picks up their daughter around 11 p.m.
“or [we’ll do] The host family will allow us to pick her up,” she added. “So she can feel like she’s having a sleepover without actually spending the night.”
What effect does “Sleep Under” have on children?
Lianza says the experience of being picked up late at night can be positive or negative depending on the individual child.
“Some children may prefer to sleep in their own bed, so they don’t mind being picked up if they don’t spend the night,” she says.
“But some people may feel ashamed that they are not allowed to spend the night or that they are different.”
Neha J said she sometimes faced pushback from her daughter.
“As she grows up, this arrangement sometimes disappoints her,” she said. “We understand her daughter’s desire to be with her friends, but as parents, we don’t want her to stay home overnight, especially if she doesn’t know the other child’s family very well. I explain that it will be safer if I receive it.”
She added: “I would like to emphasize that this is not a matter of trust in her, but rather a decision we made based on our comfort level.”
The mother said the main reason she picked up her daughter before bed was to reassure her that she was safe.
“We believe that children are most vulnerable when they are asleep. By taking them home, we eliminate even the slightest possibility of harm or discomfort that may occur in an unfamiliar environment. ” she said.
Experts say the practice of “sleep under” could be a trial run for a real sleepover.
LifeStance Health’s Leenza said parents may start by having their children stay with someone they know and trust.
“It could be at the home of an immediate family member or another loved one. This can be a kind of test run for both the child and the parents.”
If a child wants to stay with a friend or classmate that the family doesn’t know much about, parents should discuss potential safety issues with the other parent, such as whether the child owns a gun. is important. Go home, Leenza advises.
“My advice is for parents to be cautious but not overprotective,” she says.
“We all want to protect our children, but at the same time we also don’t want to suffocate them. It’s all about balance.”
