Amid the ongoing housing crisis, Americans are choosing to live with their ex-partners, a move experts say can be emotionally taxing despite the potential financial benefits. It is pointed out that there is.
“Rising housing costs are driving more couples to cohabit, even though the romantic spark in marriage has died down,” real estate broker Chuck Vander Stelt told Fox News Digital.
“I’ve talked to several divorced couples who are weighing their options and timing the market. In the meantime, they continue to live together.”
Mr Stelt believes the trend towards cohabitation after divorce or separation is on the rise as he experiences an influx of people in their 30s and 40s, often with children, weighing the options of selling or living together. Mr. Stelt said in the past, estranged homeowners have been adamant that their properties be sold as soon as possible.
“Many homeowners have endured rock-bottom interest rates and comfortable mortgage payments. It’s hard to leave that alone and face the alternative of significantly higher housing costs,” he added.
Over the past few years, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, a trend of people wanting to remain holed up in a cabin with their ex-lovers has been reported in the media.
Relationship advice websites and message boards like Reddit are full of pagers asking renters and homeowners if they should keep their current living situation.
The American is documenting his experience living with his ex on TikTok and offering advice to others facing similar challenges.
TikToker @-diaryofamomma She posted various videos in late 2023, showcasing what life is like when she lives with her ex and has two children. Usually her son and daughter stay in the same room with their mother, and the father sleeps on the sofa.
Their mother, Kathy, said they were still living together because their landlord would not allow them to terminate their lease without paying the remainder of the term in full. They both share the responsibility of caring for the children and cleaning the house.
“Honestly, me and their father both like to think about bad roommates. Someone we don’t like but have to live with because we have a lease. It’s like, that’s it. It’s us,” Kathy said. “I try not to bother him. He doesn’t bother me.”
Dating coach Deon Black said the reasons people choose to live with their ex often boil down to the three F’s: finances, intimacy and fear.
“Exit costs can be prohibitive, especially given current real estate prices. And sometimes there are contractual obligations that hold people together like superglue: leases tied together in happier times. We must not forget that contracts are now as unbreakable as bad habits,” he said.
Black said that while it’s not an earth-shaking trend, cohabitation between exes is certainly a growing phenomenon, more out of necessity than choice.
“Millennials are leading this wave, closely followed by Gen Z. Younger generations are the ones most affected by this trend due to economic pressures,” he said.
Black said that amid rising interest rates and a housing shortage, Americans are trying to save money and maintain stability, especially when children are involved. But the possible downsides are considerable, with dating coaches citing the potential for emotional stress, conflict, and difficulty moving on.
After living with my ex-girlfriend, TikToker Alana Hogan I provided some tips for people who find themselves in similar life situations.
“Everyone heals differently and everyone copes differently. Your way is going to be completely different than his or hers,” she said.
She urged her followers not to see their ex-partner’s actions as a reflection of themselves and to set healthy boundaries for each person’s place in their apartment or home.
“Make sure the communication is very clear and open. Let them know what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t feel comfortable with. About what you can and cannot talk about openly,” she added.
Viral relationship coach Jake Maddock previously addressed the idea of living together with an ex, stressing that the decision to stay under the same roof means they’re technically still together.
“You can’t be emotionally separated, you can’t be physically separated. You have to be physically separated.” He said.
Sexologist Susannah Weiss agreed that after a breakup, it’s usually easier to take a “clean vacation” and remove your ex from your life.
Weiss noted that some people may agree to temporarily live with their ex-partner because they are busy with work, and acknowledged that this period can be extended without a set deadline. Some people live in rent-controlled apartments and can’t find something affordable when they cut back on their lifestyles, leading to decisions that are “born out of convenience.”
“However, some people continue to live with their ex out of fear of breaking up completely. They may tell themselves it’s for convenience or financial reasons, but the truth is that this person is completely gone.” I’m afraid,” she told FOX News Digital.
