dear abby: I’m engaged to a wonderful man. We’ve been dating for a little over two years. His family was wonderful to me during the first year. They acted as if they liked me. But things have changed. When my fiance and I are around them, they just wave and say very little to me, if they say anything at all. They never call or text me. I’m always the first one to do it. I sent several messages and received no response.
My fiance is very supportive. He tells me things will get better and tries to make me feel better, but I’m starting to get the impression that they don’t like me. Also, I don’t feel like I have anything in common with his mother or sister, which makes me feel even more awkward. I’ve been trying to be friendly with them and foster a relationship, but I haven’t gotten anything in return. If you have any advice, please share. — Not preferred in Kentucky
dear asshole: If you and your fiance have a good relationship, stop obsessing over his family. They may have made a fuss at first because you were the “newbie.” A year has passed and the novelty has worn off. It’s unfortunate that your relationship with his family isn’t what you imagined, but maybe that’s how life is. So please take this step by step.
Nurture your relationships with friends, other couples, and your own family. Relax, enjoy the life you’re building with the man you love, and get tips from your fiancé on how to deal with your future in-laws. He knows them better than we do.
dear abby: My son-in-law, who had bipolar II disorder, died by suicide a year and a half ago while we were apart. We thought he was doing better, but his mother saw no reason for him to stay with us while we were gone for a few days. The police told us it was his decision and there was nothing we could do about it. This person is her husband’s youngest son, with whom they lived for 12 years. I grew to really like him, but we weren’t together for the first 18 years of his life.
I’m still grieving, but my husband is grieving even more. Five months after his son’s suicide, he suffered a heart attack the next day and subsequently underwent open heart surgery. As my friend said after visiting me yesterday, it’s depression to the nth degree. He doesn’t feel the need for treatment and he hates taking extra medication. what can i do? — I’m worried about him in Texas.
Dear everyone: Tell your husband that you are still grieving the loss of your son-in-law and that you know he is too. Explains that there is a strong suspicion that his recent heart attack is related to the tragic loss of his son. If his doctor doesn’t know the whole story yet, he needs to be careful.
If your husband is adamant about not seeking grief counseling, tell him you attend a grief support group. need He accompanies you because you love him and don’t want to lose him.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
