Dear Abby: I am a professional and highly educated adult, but I moved back home because I was worried about my father’s health and got a better job. As an added bonus, I was able to save money on student loans and give my parents a little extra pampering as they got older.
What did you give as a gift recently? My parents had a dream vacation (for the second time). They loved it the first time, but never imagined they could do it again. My parents have a minor child and can’t be alone, so I decided to use my personal vacation to babysit him, just like last time. My mom is planning the details of an upcoming trip and has asked me to take more time off from work so we can take a road trip after the holidays.
Abby, I’ve already used up all of my time for their weeklong vacation, and I won’t be able to take one myself until later in the year when I have more time. I know she is requesting this to make her father’s trip more enjoyable. I’m a generous and patient person, but this leaves me feeling almost speechless, a little unappreciated, and frustrated. Am I overreacting? Should we find a way to extend their trip? — OHIO LIMITED
Dear Limited: The answer to both questions is “NO.” Your mom doesn’t seem to understand how generous you have been to her and your dad in providing her time off. If she wants to extend her leave, she will need to make her own arrangements for your brother to be supervised if she and your dad are unable to do it themselves. Shame on your girlfriend for trying to put the blame on you.
Dear Abby: I recently lost my beloved wife. Her death was a shock to everyone. She was placed on life support for a short period while medical staff conducted tests to determine the extent of her injuries. When it became clear that she would spend the rest of her life in a vegetative state, there was no need for her family or me to make the decision.
My wife had an advance directive stating that she did not want to continue living in this condition. I was very lucky in that no one in her family tried to challenge this document. It was difficult for me to take her off life support, but I knew that was what she wanted. She passed away peacefully, quietly, and quickly.
Abby, I encourage you, our readers, to take the time and make the effort to create an advance directive, no matter what your wishes are. It was my wife’s final gift to me and I will be forever grateful for it. — In memory of her in Arizona
For those who remember her: I pray that your soul may rest in peace on the loss of your wife. Thank you for taking the time to share this important information with my readers and me. Your letter is a reminder that all end-of-life documents should be periodically reviewed to ensure they reflect current thinking.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
