Peter Facinelli this week likened his 11-year relationship with Jennie Garth to an “arranged marriage” and reflected on their time together.
“I was in this marriage that felt a little bit like an arranged marriage to me, you know what I mean? I was in love, and we had a beautiful family from the outside, but I hadn’t found my true essence yet,” Facinelli, 50, told his ex-wife on the latest episode of iHeartRadio’s podcast “I Choose Me.”
“I didn’t even know how you could love me. Because I didn’t even know myself.”
Facinelli and Garth, 52, met in Los Angeles in their early 20s and within six months, she was pregnant with their first child.
‘90210’ star Jennie Garth ‘never’ encouraged her kids to pursue acting when they were young
Peter Facinelli this week likened his 11-year relationship with Jennie Garth to an “arranged marriage” and reflected on their time together. (Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
the “Beverly Hills 90210” actress asked Facinelli while discussing married life and co-parenting after divorce.
“Have you ever looked at me and thought, ‘Will having a child with this person mean I’m bound to this person for the rest of my life?'” she asked.
Facinelli said that wasn’t the case.
“When I had my first child, I wasn’t thinking about life. I was 21 and I was just thinking about that moment. We got together so quickly, so intensely, so quickly. And I remember thinking, ‘Let’s just move in together and see what happens.’ And it just flowed. Five years went by and I was like, ‘Yeah, let’s get married.'”
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“In a way it was like an arranged marriage. Things seemed to be going well, we had our disagreements here and there, but we were young.”
“I hadn’t yet formed an identity for who I was, so I just tried to be who people wanted me to be,” Facinelli said, adding that she “fell into” Garth’s world because her life was more established at the time, when Garth was already an established star playing Kelly Taylor on “90210.”
Facinelli and Garth, 52, met in Los Angeles when she was in her early 20s and pregnant with her first child. (Chris Polk/FilmMagic)
As the relationship progressed, he realized he didn’t even know who he was anymore.
She said the couple had “beautiful things on the walls” in their home, but none of it belonged to her, and after the divorce she didn’t even know how to decorate her own home.
“After so many years of being a father, a husband, the perfect family man, I needed to find myself,” he explained.
He lived with his parents until he moved to Los Angeles, and within six months of meeting Garth, she was pregnant.
“I didn’t know who I was,” he said.
Nonetheless, he said, “We lasted as long as the Hollywood days.”
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“We had a good run,” she agreed.
The couple married in 2001 after five years of dating, but Facinelli filed for divorce in 2012.
Facinelli and Garth have three daughters. (Paul Hiffmeyer/Disney via Getty Images)
But what has always remained important to them are their three daughters: Luca, 26; Lola, 21; and Fiona, 17.
“Looking back, I think we were very caring parents, so whatever friction there was, it was because we really cared about our kids,” the Twilight actor said. “We both really cared deeply about our kids and we wanted what was best for them, and, you know, sometimes we didn’t agree on ideology, but somehow we made it work.”
The former couple agreed to shared custody following their divorce, and Garth said he knew what was “absolutely best” for the kids was for them to spend half the time with their dad.
Peter Facinelli shares secrets about co-parenting with ex-wife Jennie Garth
“It was heartbreaking to split up my family. It was a decision I didn’t know if it was the right decision,” Facinelli said, “but we made it. It was all about balancing, picking up my kids, knowing they were going to miss me for a week, and then dropping them off. It was hard.”
Peter Facinelli and Jennie Garth in 1998. Six months after they started dating, Garth became pregnant with their first child. (Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)
The former couple often spoke about how different their upbringings were, with Facinelli joking that they were “opposite ends” – Garth’s parents were nurturing, while Facinelli taught Garth to be independent.
“It’s hard, but I think what’s made us successful is that we love our kids so much that even when we disagree, we’ve somehow managed to get to a place where they’re OK,” he said.
He added that he feels “really blessed that my kids have grown up to be such great people.”
Of her decision to file for divorce, Facinelli said she didn’t want to wake up at age 60 and think, “‘Oh, have I been living for so many people and not even known who I am?’ So I needed to sort that out.”
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“First of all, I wouldn’t be the parent I am today if we hadn’t been there for each other through all the ups and downs of co-parenting, the times when we wanted to kill each other and the times when we didn’t,” Garth said. “Our kids always had a dad.”
Garth is now married to actor Dave Abrams, and Facinelli is engaged to actress Lily Ann Harrison, with whom he has a son.
Fox News Digital has reached out to representatives for Facinelli and Garth for comment.
