Ahead of Father’s Day on June 16th this year, West Coast religious leaders are discussing three harmful lies being directly or indirectly told to American fathers in today’s culture and why fathers need to reject these lies in order to best raise their children.
“Most fathers are hard-working, fun, kind and intelligent,” said Jesse Bradley, pastor of Grace Community Church in Auburn, Washington.
But he said some of the “harmful lies” circulating about fathers today are “deceptive and hard to spot. They’re mean, they’re heavy-handed, they’re simple.”
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But once excavated, “it could be thrown out,” Bradley said.
“Replacing a lie with the truth is powerful,” he told Fox News Digital, and faith in God “can free fathers from the spiritual traps that so easily entangle people.”
Some of the “harmful lies” about fathers circulating in today’s culture are “deceptive and hard to discern. They’re mean, heavy-handed and simple,” said a Washington state pastor (not pictured). He said they should be rejected and replaced with vital truths. (Courtesy of iStock user eggeeggjiew)
With just a week until Father’s Day, he shared three lies he believes “need to get out of a father’s mind” in order to be the best parent he can be for the well-being of his children.
Lie #1: “You won’t be a good father”
“The wrong message of defeat can be debilitating for fathers,” Bradley said.
“It resonates with every failure and mistake… It’s too heavy a burden to bear.”
“Your past experiences in life do not define you.”
Men who had “absent, abusive or distant” fathers may still carry the scars from those experiences and perhaps “unconsciously live them out in their own lives,” he said.
“God is a healer and a comforter of broken hearts. God is a Father to fatherless children. You have a good and faithful Father in heaven, so accept His everlasting love,” said Bradley, a husband and father of four.
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To fathers struggling with their role as fathers, he said, “God will bring men into your life who you can learn from and who will fill any ‘father void’ you may have endured. Your past life experiences do not define you.”
“The truth is, you can be the father you never had.” (Photo by iStock user shironosov)
So, he advised, “Turn the negative aspects into motivation and make big changes.”
“Your story isn’t over yet. In fact, you can be the father you never had.”
Lie #2: “It’s good to be an independent dad”
Bradley said many men today are tempted or encouraged to “remain single, which may seem attractive at first.”
“Relationships can be messy at times, but they’re worth the investment.”
In a culture of chaos, “independence seems less complicated and less dramatic,” he said, and escaping to a ‘man cave’ might provide a refuge from the storm.
The Christian pastor said the problem with this mindset is that “we weren’t born to be isolated. We all need God and other people.”
“Have fun and connect with your kids every day. Listen to their concerns, find meaningful activities, offer wise advice, and create memories together.” (iStock)
The lie here is “the idea that we are self-sufficient and have more control over our lives if there is no one around. We turn to entertainment and hobbies as an escape. Or work becomes an escape. Life becomes shallow,” he said.
In his view, “in our fast-paced, difficult culture, it’s common for people to become estranged from God, estranged from their spouses, too far from their children, and to have few close friends.”
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“No father wants to leave behind a legacy of estranged relationships. Relationships can be messy at times, but they’re worth the investment,” Bradley said.
“Family connections pay off a lot,” he added.
Lie #3: “Fatherhood isn’t that important”
Many others can achieve it. Work at work“Even if someone works for you on a men’s league team on the weekend or serves as a volunteer, you are the only person in the world who is your child’s father,” Bradley said, speaking directly to fathers.
Pastor Jesse Bradley, pictured with this family, has a message for other fathers: “God will walk with you. The truth is that being grateful and intentional as a father will lead to deep joy.” (Wayne Jackson)
That special role “should be treasured and should be very high on the list of priorities,” he said.
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“Have fun with your kids and connect with them every day. Listen to their concerns, find meaningful activities, give them wise advice, create memories together, read the Bible, open your heart, watch their games, take trips with them, pray with them, and try out your best dad jokes,” Bradley said.
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The work of fatherhood, he said, is “relational, intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual work.”
He offered this advice to other fathers: “Don’t give your best at work and just bring home the ‘leftovers.'”
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He also said, “God is with you every step of the way, and the truth is, being grateful and intentional as a father leads to the deepest joy of fatherhood.”
