Have you heard of the 16 experts who have been hard at work in a Hollywood-style studio inside an airplane hangar for the past week putting together a case for Joe Biden ahead of Thursday night’s presidential debate, a la Sandra Bullock in “Congeniality”?
As a former member of the Screen Actors Guild, I can attest to the fact that it’s true that sometimes dumb actors just can’t remember their lines. In old Hollywood, the director would yell, “Someone from the art department please get a magic marker and draw me some cue cards…” rNow!”
Now, we never play “dirty tricks”, but IFB operates on radio frequencies, and frequencies can easily be intercepted and jammed.
Many on the right have been speculating in the run-up to the debate what unusual drug combination Biden will need to take to look sharp and coherent as he takes on Donald Trump on CNN. They’re thinking Robert De Niro’s comatose character in “Awakenings.” Wrong movie.
Today, memorization has become much easier for actors who don’t have as many developed brain cells. The answer is a wireless version of the pigtail earphones often used by news anchors, called an interruptible foldback (IFB). An ear teleprompter, it’s a small device that fits invisibly in your ear canal. It’s readily available online. ApplauseA complete wireless package, including a recorder to save prepared comments, will cost about $1,000.
Such units, if properly modified, can provide direct radio access for instantaneous communications.
This is especially valuable for the handsome troubadour, who can’t act, because his acting coach can reassure him and guide him from afar. “Look up. Look left. Look her in the eyes.” Equipped with such equipment, Biden’s 16 debate aides will split into two teams and speak into left-ear and right-ear teleprompters, one for lines, one for directions. They could become the greatest ventriloquist since Edgar Bergen. Charlie McCarthy.
Imagine host Jake Tapper asking, “What is the greatest threat to democracy?” and a ventriloquist aide responding, “Donald Trump is the greatest threat to democracy!” while another aide says, “Joe, look angrily to your left.”
With any luck, you’ll get “Trump is mad at the left, Joe.”
A further question from Dana Bash would be, “Would you pardon your son, Hunter, who has been convicted of a gun offense?” The first aide responds, “I would never stoop to that level.” Another panics and shouts, “No, Joe! He said ‘stoop,’ not ‘poop,’ watch those stairs!”
Of course, this isn’t the first time the idea of Biden using earbuds has been floated. In 2020, the Trump campaign complained that the Biden campaign had initially agreed to be tested for illegal devices, then backed out at the last minute. A Biden spokesperson denied the charge. Naturally, the unsuspecting media accepted the spokesperson’s statement and dismissed Trump’s claims as mere “conspiracy theories.”
Maybe. Who knows?
Now, it’s unlikely that Bad Orange Man supporters will play dirty, but IFB transmits on radio frequencies that can be easily intercepted and jammed. Trump campaign staffers need scanners. If Biden is using IFB, it won’t be hard to find the frequency unless he uses a more sophisticated frequency-hopping device.
Once located, they could be jammed or hijacked. The British did this frequently during World War II, using fluent German-speaking men, and later women, to insert misleading instructions into the control channels of Nazi night fighter aircraft. It worked spectacularly well.
I don’t think the Trump team would consider such shenanigans, or that Biden would seriously consider cheating in the first place.
