Dear Abby: My father touched me inappropriately as a child and as an adult. Even as an adult, it bothers me. I feel like there was more that happened when I was very young. Maybe I was drugged to lose my memory. I know there were some strange occurrences and my mother knew about them. I was always uncomfortable around my father. But I loved my parents very much. I have very strange dreams where my parents do nasty things to me.
I have been in therapy before but not necessarily for this issue. I know I was always my dad’s favorite child because I was more personable than my sister.
Our parents have been gone for years now. I don’t want to think badly of them, but I would like to know for sure what happened. Do you have any advice? I hate myself for thinking badly of my parents, who I loved. They were good to me and my sister while we were growing up.– Alabama Needs Clarification
For all those seeking clarity: The first person you should talk to about this is your sister, who has always been “less kind” to your father than you were. That might be enlightening, but if not, talk to a licensed psychotherapist about your persistent nightmares. It won’t be the first time they’ve heard this story, and you deserve some peace of mind.
Dear Abby: My daughter in law has alienated my son from his sister and it’s gotten so bad that my son doesn’t want me to talk about her or her family anymore. I also don’t want my daughter in law to talk about her family.
I am an old man and I don’t need this in my head. I love my son and I really liked my daughter in law but she has changed. My son doesn’t do anything without asking her.
I only have one son and one daughter. I am afraid that if I die they will not be together. My daughter recently had a kidney removed due to cancer, but my daughter-in-law insists she did not have cancer. My daughter-in-law has multiple sclerosis and is very negative about life.
She is very lucky to still be able to walk and drive. Please help. I love all my family and I am so sad. What can I do about this? — Sad Mom from Texas
Dear Mom: There is nothing you can do about this unfortunate situation. Your daughter-in-law’s refusal to have surgery for her cancer can be easily overcome if your daughter shows her brother the medical records.
Whatever the reason, your daughter-in-law has decided that your husband’s attention should be directed to her (and her own illness) rather than to her sister. All you can do at this point, and going forward, is to see your children separately as often as possible, and hope that they remain safe, healthy, and close by for as long as you are around.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jean Phillips) and published by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To contact Dear Abby, please contact us at Dear Abbey or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
