Get excited! George Clooney is here Team Kamala.
The popular man cheered on VP Harris just days after she threw President Joe Biden under the presidential motorcade. Too many throws. Good for your shoulders, but he should bend his knees. George, you’re not a kid anymore.
Clooney knew Biden’s apparent dementia could complicate the campaign, but he only spoke out after Biden’s dismal performance in the debate.
What? A patriot.
Now he wants us to know that the candidate who failed so badly four years ago is the best candidate ever. Possibly the best candidate ever. Clooney is a master of fiction, but there are limits to his skill…
Kamala Chameleon
It’s been more than three years since comedians have avoided the term “General Salad Spinner.”
The vice president doesn’t always provide satirists with amusing material, but there are exceptions: Mike Pence’s overly uptight persona has been mocked in cartoons; Dan Quayle was slammed for his infamous spelling gaffe of “potatoes”; and Dick Cheney’s hunting mishap is not the only time late-night jokers have pounced on a cranky vice president and been caught out.
Harris? Zero, zero, zero. As always, someone past his prime, seemingly choosing to focus on what his job will be (savior of democracy) rather than be tied down by what he had been (highly paid court jester).
And that wall of silence is expected to continue into November, except when comedians promote her campaign, as stand-in Lamorne Morris did this week on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
“New Girl” alumni Praise for First Man candidate Douglas Emhoff While acknowledging that Harris needs all the help he can get, he still treats him like a “stud.” Will he surpass Trump in November?.
“She’s going to need the help of every god. Yahweh, Allah, Jesus, Oprah, all the great gods,” he joked.
In the words of Robert Plant, “Does anyone remember laughing?”
Worse than waterboarding
Jack Bauer is back. But will we recognise him?
A new 24 series is in the works, but it’s unclear whether Kiefer Sutherland will reprise his role as the relentless hero. In fact, all we know about the project is that it’s further proof that beloved IP never dies in Hollywood — it just gets rebooted until audiences roll their eyes.
Will Jack still resemble the hero we’ve known and loved for eight straight seasons? He can’t just torture terrorists for valuable clues anymore. There are too many problems. The terrorists have to be members of the Patriotic Front, not Islamic jihadists. And can our hero save America without having a difficult conversation about systemic racism?
I hope “24” falls into development hell…
Stone Crazy
Sharon Stone is giving America one last chance.
The star of “Casino” Threaten to leave the country What will happen if Donald Trump retakes the White House this November?
“This is the first time in my life that I’ve actually seen someone running for office on a platform of hate and oppression.”
That means she thought Trump’s 2016 campaign was full of silver linings. Hopeful, right?
There’s a reason celebs make this vow every four years (and never follow through on it). Two things, actually. First, it guarantees intense media attention — not just at Align, but everywhere. Second, it’s a blatant “hire me” sign. “See? I feel just like you! So can I have a small role in the next season of Bridgerton? Please?”
It’s all about following your instincts!
Gas bag
Jack Black has come under a lot of flak after his bandmates publicly professed their dire birthday wishes that the next gunman kill Trump for good.
Tenacious D’s Kyle Gass expressed that wish at a concert in Sydney, less than a day after a 20-year-old man shot and nearly killed President Trump at a rally in Butler, Pennsylvania.
While Black didn’t cause any trouble onstage, he quickly posted a sincere apology on Instagram, and the “School of Rock” star said he was canceling the remainder of the band’s current tour and taking a creative break.
Gass posted his own apology on Instagram, but later deleted it.
It’s a perfect “D.”
