It was Abraham Lincoln who famously said, “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” Or maybe it was Winston Churchill. Or maybe it was Confucius.
Either way, this sentiment is never more true than in college football, where NCAA oversight is essentially a joke, with more than 100 years of history showing how it can benefit everyone involved if a coach, player or program breaks a rule or two, with the average infraction rarely making national news and some even being celebrated.
But for all of this to work, the perpetrators need to embrace the idea that the ends justify the means, and have the foresight to be careful Tying up loose ends. It might sound like something out of a mafia movie, but it’s no coincidence: the two organizations have a lot in common.
The University of Michigan football program should know this better than anyone. Their origin stories It’s based on minimal effort in the gray areas. And last season, despite two scandals, the program dominated and won a national championship. This should be KMA’s moment. The haters in Columbus and East Lansing can call them cheats all they want, but they can kiss the ring after that.
The fact that there was some cheating during the season isn’t a big deal, especially considering the allegations. No one was actually harmed. What basically happened was Jim Harbaugh paid for the burgers. The assistant coaches were wearing terrible Halloween costumes.
But Michigan refuses to take the stance the situation requires, which is the stance every other elite program in the game is taking. Instead, they play a stupid game and win stupid awards.
It’s the second of these two issues that’s causing the most problems. For those who haven’t been following the ludicrous saga of Connor Stallions, this one was pretty entertaining: A Michigan assistant coach was arrested for illegally spying on opponents and stealing signs from an opposing team’s sideline. A crime against humanity, really.
Michigan wasn’t the first university to break such a strange rule. They were just unlucky or too brazen to get caught. They then had to decide whether to forget about the problem and keep winning games, or fight tooth and nail and keep making headlines. Which do you think the Ann Arbor scholars chose?
Nick Saban took over as head coach at Alabama and the team quickly Textbook ScandalOr maybe Georgia earlier this year. Fire staff who bet on soccerOh, you don’t remember that? That’s probably because Saban and Kirby Smart handled it.
In Mafia movies, crime bosses care more about drawing attention to their particular dirty deeds than about people finding out they broke the rules. Similarly, programs like Alabama and Georgia are happy to accept light punishments (often self-imposed) as long as trusted donors can quickly get the problem out of the headlines and allow the team to focus on winning games.
Instead, Michigan I bought a pink Cadillac.
Latest Headlines Surround Stallion as he attempts to land a high school football coaching job in Michigan. On the surface, this is the perfect job for the University of Michigan: appease Stallion while hiding him away from the attention of the national media. But it seems the powers that be in Ann Arbor weren’t paying attention to the details. The deal fell apart and the emails were leaked.
Stallions has since found another job coaching high school football in Michigan, so that will likely be the last we hear of him. Oh wait!
Stallion refused to be silent. Coaches get involved one after another Michigan, in all its chaos, can’t escape this story. It’s a victory march punchline.
Ultimately, it probably won’t do much immediate damage to their on-field prowess, but as they should have learned last year, the more Michigan ignores the NCAA, the more likely it is that the NCAA will be more willing to punish the Wolverines for even minor infractions.
It’s a truly phenomenal piece of theatre for others.
