and othersLast week, pop star Lily Allen was heavily criticised on social media after it was revealed she had put her dog Mary up for adoption after she ate her and her children's passports. Animal rights group PETA issues open letter Allen accused her of treating her dog like an accessory that could be “thrown away when it became too much for her” and attempted to put the incident into context, saying the eating of the passport was the final straw in a series of incidents that had resulted from the dog's serious behavioural problems.
It's natural to be tempted to call Allen a “monster” for adopting Mary, but I do sympathize with her. Owning a pet is a big responsibility and something that should always be taken seriously, but if your pet has extreme behavioral issues that make it impossible for them to live and thrive in your home, it's okay to ask whether they might be better off living somewhere else.
Part of the reason I feel sorry for Allen is because I've been wondering whether to adopt out my two cats. I grew up with pets and love animals, but my now ex-boyfriend and I were animal-free for a while. Then one day in January 2023, he came home with a kitten he'd rescued from a friend of a friend. Then six months later, he showed up again with another kitten, claiming my cat was lonely and needed company. Suddenly, we were left with two cats.
When we split up, the question that always plagued me was what would happen to our cats. Unfortunately, After all, I'm left to care for two cats. I want to be a good cat parent – cats deserve to live happy and fulfilling lives – and sadly, it's becoming increasingly clear that I can't provide that.
One of the cats has behavioral issues and severe anxiety, and just like Allen's dog, she started eliminating in inappropriate places. The vet confirmed that it's not a medical issue, but I found it nearly impossible to stop her from doing it through training. I've tried to create a stress-free environment, give both cats toys and play, and tried different cat litters to see if that's the cause, but nothing has worked. I change the cat litter twice a day and put food where she sprays so that she associates it with food and not the litter box. Sometimes she won't spray for a week or two and I breathe a sigh of relief, only to walk into the living room and see the couch is messy again. My cats also destroy furniture, clothes, and shoes, which I know is common. My apartment is small and with two cats, it's dirty, ragged, and messy.
I don't blame the cats; how could I? But I don't have the disposable income to replace those things or give them the space they need. The effort, care, and time required may be beyond what I can afford at this point in my life. The thought of not being able to properly care for my cats, and dealing with these issues for the next 10 to 15 years, has made me cry. I have done my best to care for my cats, but I can't help but wonder if they and I would be better off living with someone who can give them the life they deserve.
I know many people will accuse me of “abandoning” my two cats. Even though I intend to give the same care to my cats when I rehome them as I do when I live with them, making sure they go to a good shelter and are then adopted by a good family. I will learn to accept people's judgement if necessary. Allen did the same with his dog. X StatementShe said the person her dog was adopted from was known to Allen's family and that [the dog] They are “returned” to the shelter.
Mary made the decision that rather than being forced to stay in an unhappy environment, she could find a better life elsewhere. The only reason to do so would be to fulfill a need for Allen and her family and ease the guilt of fostering, but that is not a good enough reason to keep a pet. Some people have managed to build wonderful lives with traumatized or difficult pets, but that is not always the best approach. Every situation is different.
Allen acknowledged that he had put Mary's best interests first and failed to properly serve her needs, even though he knew his choice would cause backlash from friends, family, and the public:If I, like Allen, were to decide to rehome a cat, I would do so out of kindness, not cruelty.
