Kate Middleton's brother, James Middleton, has opened up about his own mental health struggles in his upcoming autobiography, “Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life.”
In an extract from his book, James, 37, revealed that he once struggled with suicidal thoughts. Published by the Daily Mail Friday.
“Life is not worth living anymore. I feel like committing suicide. I am thinking of ways to die, to get off this dizzying rollercoaster that is leading me to the edge of insanity,” he wrote.
James continued, “I feel misunderstood. I'm a complete failure. I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to feel worthless, hopeless, isolated and lonely. It's driving me crazy.”
He said he is “fortunate” to have a “loving and close-knit family” that includes his parents, Carole and Michael Middleton, sisters Kate and Pippa, and brothers-in-law Prince William and James Matthews.
“But I push them all away,” James says. “I don't answer the calls. I ignore the emails. I ignore the invitations to visit. I hide behind double-locked doors and don't see anyone.”
Prince Charles' younger brother recalled how one night in November 2017, he was at the lowest point of his life and considered jumping off the roof of a London building to commit suicide.
“Dark thoughts come into my mind. How can I stop it? I am thinking of jumping off the roof. Who will find me? A passing taxi driver? A neighbour?” he wrote.
“If I jumped, would it be interpreted as a tragic accident? That would cause my family a lot of grief, but it would spare them the added pain of having committed suicide.”
But James said his dog Ella dissuaded him from attempting suicide.
“When I think about what I would be like without her, it makes me stop and think,” he said. “What would Ella do without me? She relies on me and I relies on her. The feeling is completely mutual.”
“What would happen to Ella if I died? How long would she wait alone in her apartment until someone found her? I have loved her with all my heart since she was a tiny, blind newborn puppy. She was my companion, my hope, my support in my darkest days. She loved me unconditionally, faithfully.”
He added: “She saved me from doing something that would have taken my life. She is my dog, Ella, who saved my life.”
Ella sadly passed away in January 2023.
James reported the news Instagram“It is with deep sadness that I announce the passing of my beloved Ella. For 15 years Ella was by my side through my darkest days and my happiest and I will miss her so much,” he wrote.
The youngest Middleton currently has six dogs with his wife, Alizee Thevenet, and welcomed the couple's first child, a son named Indigo, in October 2023.
James' memoir will be published on September 24th.
Anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts can call the Suicide Crisis Lifeline at 988 or go Suicide Prevention Lifeline.org.For support.
