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These parents won’t give their kids iPhones — but they have clever work-arounds

Erin Burcao's teenage daughters aren't glued to their phones like most middle schoolers in New York City.

Unlike other smartphone generations, 13-year-olds are not allowed to have social media or unlimited access to their own devices.

“The phone is there to contact us,” Burcao, 40, told the Post.

These devices are purely for necessity, not fun. She tracks her daughters' locations to ensure they arrive at school safely. When I get home in the afternoon, I have a phone in my kitchen that automatically locks at 7pm.

She noticed that when twins Natalia and Eliana are away from their phones for a few hours, “they become completely different people, in a good way.”

The Burcao twins, both 13 years old, only occasionally use their cell phones to contact their parents and friends. Provided by: Erin Burcao

“They don't realize how harmful phone calls and text messages actually are, even if it's just a text message,” Burcao says. “And as a parent, that worries me.”

According to 2021 survey data. common sense42% of U.S. children own a smartphone by age 10, and this number jumps to 91% by age 14. In fact, Lionel Richie's daughter Sofia Richie Grainge recently revealed that she has welcomed a 5-month-old child. she has her own baby phone.

Burcao, who recently moved with her family from California to New York, told the Post that she would not have bought her teenage children smartphones if she hadn't moved there. Provided by: Erin Burcao
Burcao said it's easy to get “obsessed” with screen time, and she's noticed that her daughters' behavior changes when they don't have access to their phones. The twins are pictured here with their younger brother Eliela, 4. Provided by: Erin Burcao

Statistics like these make it seem like Burcao's Manhattan teens are an exception, but that may not be the case for long. She is part of a growing movement of parents raising tweens, teens, and toddlers offline.

“We know that most of our interactions on social media and, to be honest, on the phone, are not appropriate or good for them,” Burcao said. “But this is the world we live in today, and there's a fine line of how to balance all of that.”

For each family, the solution will be a little different.

Margaret Locke, a Texas mother, uses her son's iPhone 14 as a “discipline tool.”

“He knows that if he doesn't respect us or don't do what he's supposed to do, he'll lose his phone,” said the 42-year-old writer and physical education teacher. he told the Post.

To begin with, it is the mother's cell phone, so the 11-year-old son also has an additional “responsibility”.

To obtain the privilege of using it, Locke drafted a contract for his son to sign. Writing the rules For example, if your mother has access to the device at all times, if she calls you will have to answer it, and your phone will be charged outside your bedroom at night. “Rules,” Locke said.

“I was just worried about him having access to everything on his phone,” she told the Post.

“They don't really realize the footprints they're leaving behind. As an older parent who hasn't experienced it myself because they're an older generation than us, that was a big concern of mine.”

Anderson, who is pictured with his wife Bethany, said he tries to emphasize “creativity” and “family time” over screens. Courtesy of the Anderson family
“There's always a risk that if you introduce it too late in that way, they won't even know what to do with it,” said Anderson, whose children include 10-year-old Elijah, 12-year-old Lizzie and 7-year-old He talked about introducing technology to children named Hannah. Courtesy of the Anderson family

But that's one reason why Peter Anderson, a father of three in Massachusetts, has almost completely removed screens from his children's lives.

“Parents are overprotecting their children in the real world, but underprotecting them in the virtual world, which just exposes them to things they're not ready for,” says Anderson, a 48-year-old family therapist. says. “We're trying to protect them from that as much as we can,” he told the Post, adding.

Past reports have likened screen time to “digital heroin,” while Gov. Cathy Hochul has called social media a “silent killer.” A recent survey of 2,000 Gen Z Americans found that apps have a negative impact on the well-being of three out of four respondents and are associated with “social media-related nightmares.” .

After seeing how technology is eroding children's social relationships, Anderson reduced screen time for his homeschooled children, ages 12, 10, and 7, to just three to four times a week. limited by time.

“I think it's about the same as smoking in the 1940s and 50s,” he said, though he admitted he might eventually give his eldest son a flip phone.

Rose told the Post that she refuses to let her teenage son have a cell phone. Provided by Jenna Rose
Ms Rose, pictured with her sons Jude, 13, and Knox, 10, said people did not understand the seriousness and dangers the internet posed to children. Provided by Jenna Rose

Jenna Rose, an assistant principal at a middle school in Georgia, told the Post that things like this are becoming more common for teens, including her 13-year-old son, Jude. don't have a cell phone.

Working in the education industry, she has seen firsthand the impact that personal device use has on adolescent minds, finding that owning a cell phone can reduce students' attention spans and improve their emotional maturity. is claimed to decrease.

Needless to say, you can't resist the urge to surf the web, play games, or just put your device away. That's why more and more schools across the country are using magnetic pouches made by Yondr. It locks your phone and other personal devices.

“I don't understand the idea that when a child has a cell phone, it's like an extension of their body and they're not wearing it all the time,” Rose, 44, told the Post.

But for other parents, this technology provides comfort.

Barstow used AirTag to track her children while they were on a school trip and posted her mom hack on TikTok. Provided by Jessica Barstow
Barstow says her children, Addison, 9, and Austin, 5, are too young to use personal devices. Provided by Jessica Barstow

Some parents, like Jessica Barstow, an Oklahoma mother of two, are using tracking technology to monitor their children to reduce the dangers of cell phones. Barstow, 33 years old; Installed Apple Air Tag In the insoles of children's excursion shoes.

She told the Post she was “relieved” to know that Addison, 9, and Austin, 5, were safe.

Meanwhile, other parents are turning to the Apple Watch to get work done. moms of texas ashley ackley and Vanessa Villegas Reyes, both 32, said smartwatches help them track their children's locations and provide a way to contact them in case of an emergency.

Reyes, pictured with her husband Kevin and sons Xander, 9, Diego, 3, and Santiago, 2, said she refrained from using a cell phone until her eldest son was in high school. I'm thinking of refraining from it. Provided by Vanessa Reyes
Reyes said her 9-year-old son is “very curious” as children his age are. Provided by Vanessa Reyes

Ackley told the Post that having nothing made her “anxious.” How to reach elementary school children When a crisis occurs, “especially in today's world,” parents “can never be too safe.”

Meanwhile, Reyes bought her 9-year-old son an Apple Watch so he could keep in touch, hoping to keep him from buying an iPhone until he was in high school.

“I know I can't keep him in a bubble forever and someday he's going to have social media. But I try to keep him off social media as much as I can. '' she told the Post, adding that she was “very curious'' about her son's age.

Social media has been linked to poor mental health, and Hochul called it a “silent killer.” adobe stock

Rose, who even bought her son an Apple Watch instead of a phone, said children these days are “consumed” by cell phones and the internet, and are “ignorant” about what's going on online. ”, she added.

“Kids aren't ready for that kind of power,” she said. “It's like Pandora's box, and once you open it, you can't close it.”

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