Dear Abby: I am fortunate that most of my neighbors are kind and considerate. We all enjoy sharing each other's celebrations. However, among the five households, there is one family that has never been able to connect on a personal level. Despite our efforts such as giving gifts and food, they are not always responding. There is no hostility, but no relation.
Recently, I've been experiencing a problem that has become increasingly troublesome. Their garage is packed with belongings so they park their cars outside of the car. Unfortunately, this car has a very sensitive alarm system that has gone off multiple times at night. I witnessed it being caused by their cats jumping into the car. The alarm will sound for 15-20 seconds, big enough to interrupt sleep. This has been an ongoing issue for the past six months.
I generally consider myself a carefree person, and this is frustrating. Given the limited interactions with family, what is the most respectful way to deal with this issue? – Sleepy in Bellevue, Washington
Dear Sleepy: Write a note to the couple and explain that their car alarms have been awake for the past six months. The cause is to point out that the cat may be jumping to the vehicle early in the morning, and whether it is possible to make the alarm sensitive or to keep a furry family inside. I ask.
If you don't tell them it is there, they don't know there is a problem. (I wonder how other neighbors feel about this?) If the interference continues, you should report it as an inconvenience to the homeowner's association. You have my sympathy.
Dear Abby: I am 66 years old and have been diagnosed with moderately aggressive prostate cancer. Radiation therapy will begin immediately. My wife knew it and was very supportive, but we didn't share it with my children, siblings, relatives or friends.
One reason to keep quiet was that my stepdaughter was expecting their first child and I didn't want to ruin their joy. The baby is here now, but I'm not yet comfortable letting them know. What do you think? Should I tell them, keep it a secret, or have my wife tell them, should I not survive the treatment? – California's Secret
Dear Secret: Whether or not to speak is a very personal decision. It may depend on your reason for not wanting to let anyone know about your diagnosis. Consider representing an announcement until you begin treatment and see how challenging (or maybe not).
If you need emotional support, we recommend telling you what's going on and joining a cancer support group. It is unfair to your wife to delay notifying your children, siblings, relatives, etc.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact dear Abby http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
