Dear Abby: My stepdaughter, “Aly,” who I’ve raised since she was two, has prohibited her 39-year-old daughter from inviting her 19-year-old girlfriend, “Taylor,” over for the holidays. Aly resents Taylor for being nearly 20 years younger than her own sister. So, I thought it best to host the holiday at my place instead.
My husband suffered a significant stroke four years ago, making it challenging for him to be away from home for long periods. With Taylor around, Aly chose to avoid us entirely. When we tried to discuss the matter, she abruptly hung up—and we haven’t communicated since.
Aly’s step-sister thinks we should reach out to her, arguing we’d regret it later. However, I feel hesitant since Aly has a history of manipulation and drama. How should I deal with this? Part of me thinks it might just be better to let things go since I don’t feel we owe her an apology at this point. – Welcome in Louisiana
Dear Welcome: Consider this: If something were to happen to Aly, would you regret not reaching out? If your answer is no, then stick to your decision. If yes, maybe keep inviting her to holiday gatherings and allow her to see the value in mending things. It’s really up to you, not your step-sister.
Dear Abby: My husband left me for another woman at our vacation home after 37 years of marriage. He claims we were drifting apart and that he no longer loves me.
I’ve spent almost two years working on my own personal issues and hoped we could reach a settlement. While we maintain a friendly rapport, he shows no interest in reconciling and prefers to remain separated without pursuing a divorce. As I’ve grown accustomed to being alone, I’m starting to consider divorce more seriously. I’ve previously spoken with counselors but feel stuck. Should I keep my distance or push for a divorce? – Limbo in New Mexico
Dear Limbo: The decision is ultimately yours. However, I suggest speaking to a divorce lawyer to understand potential financial implications of a divorce since it might not be as daunting as you think. If you find yourself unsure, perhaps revisiting therapy could help you explore healthier options and gain clarity.
