Dear Abby: Concerning “New York Silver Girl” (January 5th), I think it’s clear she isn’t getting the love she deserves since her husband has chosen to stop coloring her hair. He really needs to evolve.
Now, when he felt attracted, you suggested she wear a red wig. What was that about? Should she really feel uncomfortable in her home just to boost his spirits? It’s her hair; she should do as she likes. I can’t help but wonder if her husband is some sort of Adonis after 20 years together. I’m not, and she shouldn’t be expected to change anything about herself. Women, understand your worth! – Terry from Iowa
Dear Terry: Interestingly, the responses I received about that letter were quite split. read:
Dear Abby: Why does “Silver Girl” resist coloring her hair for her husband? It’s clear he loves her as she is and appreciates her red hair. When did it become so one-sided? Doing things for our partners is a way of showing love. If he were my husband, I’d consider dyeing my hair green if he wanted. I value that he loves my hair. “Silver” should remember that many women choose to color their gray for a good man. – Natural California redhead
Dear Abby: “Silver Girl” is aware that gray hair can make her look older. Before quitting, she dyed her hair to stay competitive and youthful. Is she prioritizing her coworkers’ opinions over her husband’s? Doesn’t that also affect how he feels about aging? – “Goldie” from Nevada
Dear Abby: Of course, we all have the right to be who we want to be, but many of us cherish our husbands. It’s a nice feeling to know they love and desire us. “Silver” is lucky he’s open about his feelings, though he might benefit from learning some subtlety. – Michigan EC wife
Dear Abby: “Silver” had gray hair when she first met her husband. Regarding body autonomy, you need to please yourself first. If he struggles with the idea of aging, maybe he should talk to someone about it. Aging gracefully should become the norm, not an exception. – Carol from Washington
Dear Abby: In my family, we refer to gray hair as a “highlight of wisdom.” – Smiles from Maine
Dear Abby was conceptualized by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and initiated by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For inquiries, reach out to Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
