Author of His Own Destiny
A man from Indiana crafted a darkly humorous obituary for himself, which was published following his tragic death in a plane crash involving a homemade aircraft.
Gary Wolflet, aged 72, died when his self-constructed, single-engine plane crashed in Ohio on May 5th. While he may not have been fully prepared for an accident, he had certainly made peace with the idea of his eventual passing.
“Hello. I’m Gary. I’m completely dead now. I’m amazed that it took a while for this to happen,” he wrote in his obituary.
He recounted several near-death experiences throughout his life—like getting hit in the head by a baseball as a child, being kicked by his sister’s horse, and even narrowly escaping a falling chimney. “I think I was lucky that something hadn’t gotten me before,” he reflected.
After an autumn incident, doctors discovered he had prostate cancer. “I just dodged another bullet,” he said, showing his characteristic humor.
Wolflet humorously noted, “When I wrote this obituary before I was completely dead, I can’t tell you here what event actually killed me. Someone else will have to fill out the details later.”
In the midst of his comedic reflections, he highlighted some of his proudest accomplishments. “I was lovingly married to the same woman for a long time. I’ve put out about 100 fires. I’ve helped many people over the past 50 years. I paid my bills with all my income.”
Wolflet and his wife, Esther, chose to have a dog instead of children, admitting he preferred the company of pets over many people he’d encountered.
He expressed gratitude towards those he cherished, stating, “Thank you for loving me while I was on Earth. It really meant a lot, and I am grateful for your affection.”
In a lighthearted note, he addressed his voting history: “I want you to know that during my lifetime, I did not intentionally vote for socialists. So I’m at least not responsible for the confusion that America is in right now.”
Wolflet encouraged readers, “Instead of flowers, leave your money and go out for a nice dinner or do something good for someone else. There will be no funerals.”
“Goodbye and peace. I’m wandering around now,” he concluded.
His wife, Esther, later added that he is survived by her, three siblings, and several nieces and nephews. “Hopefully, if there’s life after death, I’d end up in a sunny, tall field of grass, with Esther and all our dogs playing music around me. It would be the happiest music of my life,” he envisioned.
Even in death, Wolflet’s sense of humor left an impression. Dozens of strangers signed the guestbook for his obituary, praising his unique and autobiographical take on life.
