Brexit Nostalgia Festival: A Look at Political Machinations
The second day of the so-called Brexit Nostalgia Festival saw Keir Starmer gearing up to address the Commons. He would be discussing how his recent deal, in essence, was just a slight adjustment from the original Brexit agreement made by Boris Johnson and Frosty the No Man five years ago. It was supposed to clarify the UK’s ongoing relationship with the EU, a situation that has certainly evolved over time. Yet, for some, this felt like yet another betrayal.
The benches were predictably filled with both Labour and Tory members. The government was eager to leverage any semblance of good news. The Tories, on the other hand, seemed keen to resurrect past glories, which, surprisingly, has worked well for them. A recent YouGov poll revealed the Tories in fourth place, trailing the Liberal Democrats. Kemi Badenok, it seems, won’t rest until her party sinks further, inching toward fifth position.
Still, Kemi wasn’t entirely alone in contemplating the Tory party’s existential challenges. Priti Patel was seen on the front bench, eagerly pushing for a new level of absurdity. Earlier that day, she had appeared on various broadcast platforms, espousing her unique version of reality.
She remarked that Britain was suffering due to the “inhumanity of being a ruler,” suggesting that it would be better to have no trade deals at all rather than subjecting the UK to joint regulations.
Then there was Victoria Atkins, who seemed visibly embarrassed during a press conference the previous day. While she wore the innocence of someone unknowing, she appeared to exhibit a bit more insight than Kemi. There was something almost outlandish about her, reminiscent of a story about her pet fish, Harry, who had eyes bulging like one of Mark François’s anecdotes. The fish lived in fear of being caught—not by Spanish trawlers but rather British ones—all thanks to the government’s trade policies.
Meanwhile, Starmer appeared unfazed. He always carried himself with a certain composure, hardly showing emotional extremes. To him, the EU deal felt like a personal triumph, especially following agreements with India and the US. He seemed resolute that these deals would significantly change the game. In his perspective, this EU trade reset was monumental, akin to quenching a thirst in a desert—yet the Tories claimed such transactions were unattainable.
As we returned to discussions of past Brexit adventures, the Tory party appeared remiss in its narrative. According to Kemi, the fishing trade was nothing short of a capitulation, echoing the same deals Boris Johnson and Frosty had negotiated long ago. Kemi suggested that these agreements had always been flawed. The plan seemed to be to return to the table five years later, aiming for a deal they actually wanted.
There was a moment where Kemi seemed to grasp the futility of her own script; public sentiment was shifting, and people sought a better arrangement with Europe. They didn’t want to be reminded of their decision that led to something so disappointing. There wasn’t a perfect ideal for Brexit, and the notion that there was just felt inadequate. She didn’t seem inclined to reverse anything, even if the Tories somehow regained power.
Yet, Kemi found herself feeling cornered, leading to a somewhat uncomfortable scene. Even Vicki seemed unsure of where to look amidst the disarray. Tory lawmakers began to distance themselves from her, with only a few choosing to stick around.
A handful of steadfast Brexiteers—Bernard Jenkin, François, and Esther McVey—looked lost in the moment. Their discussions about young people seeking experiences abroad came across as disheartening; they seemed to embody a certain nostalgia for a past where things felt simpler. Their remarks reflected a deeper, troubling xenophobia.
Interestingly, there was no sign of Nigel Farage, perhaps because he had realized there wasn’t much to gain from further reform. Immigration remains his primary concern, and he had allowed others to carry the burden of representation. Dickey Tice, typically blunt, now sounded almost defeated, stringing together half-hearted phrases about Brussels bureaucrats and struggling to articulate any coherent argument. It was striking how out of touch he seemed.
