Grand Old Days on B’way
Back in 1626, Peter Minuit, the first governor of the colony, purchased New York for 60 guilders, which is about $24 today. Now, I’m curious—what’s the drink of choice during Broadway show intermissions? Canal Street was once a tangled web, and honestly, it still is. Even back then, the newcomers couldn’t lay claim to the land; they were just tenants, at the mercy of the landowners. It’s a reminder that some things never really change. Just think about powerful figures in Albany or Washington today—it’s sometimes hard not to feel like we’re still dealing with landlords.
Fast forward a few hundred years, and it’s Tony Awards time. But really, who even knows all the nominees? There’s talent for sure—Sarah Snook, Sad Sync, James Monroe Iglehart—but do we all know them? And why are the ticket prices so steep when these stars aren’t exactly A-list movie actors? I mean, it’s not like they’re earning Jennifer Lawrence-style paychecks.
And what about these so-called “new” shows like “Gypsy,” “Goodnight, Good Luck,” and “Sunset Blvd”? When they first debuted, the subway fare was just a nickel. Older folks? They’re not keen on spending their evenings binge-watching police dramas on Netflix.
Sure, we have some big names like Denzel Washington and Jake Gyllenhaal taking on roles in “Othello” and a twist on “Romeo and Juliet.” Nice, right? But is it all that groundbreaking? I mean, Shakespeare himself must have jotted down some pretty ordinary letters back in his day.
Let’s face it—the audience has aged. Many attendees come with canes or wheelchairs, and hearing aids are quite common. It’s almost like we need longer intermissions. The restrooms are always downstairs, meaning you’ll have to navigate through the crowd, wait for a food stall, and then make your way back. It feels like we spend more time in line than watching the actual performance.
Broadway’s like a magnet for visitors, even those from distant places like Montana or Utah. They don’t really care about Central Park. I mean, they just want to experience Broadway. It’s New York; everybody wants a piece of it. But is anyone singing a tune or humming a catchy song in honor of it all? I wonder if anyone’s ever snapped a selfie in front of a fire hydrant in Montezuma?
And let’s talk about expenses. Is it really normal for a drink at intermission to cost $30? For another $12, you could get a piece of the show as an investor. But think about families—how do they manage costs for hotels and transport? It’s crazy. Taxis, Ubers, pedicabs can rack up bills that would rival a divorce lawyer’s fees just to cover a few blocks.
And then the big moment arrives—Tony night! There’s hardly anything as thrilling as watching a Knicks rerun. Looking back, I can’t recall anything particularly exciting from my own school experiences. Funny how time makes us forget.
What’s on the agenda? Maybe check out some politics, or follow Mrs. Biden’s hair color saga. Or perhaps take a peek into Lincoln’s bedroom during a ghost hunt—who knows what you might uncover?
A theatrical agent once told his client, “If you follow my lead, you’ll become a star.” The actor replied, “Sounds great! What’s first?” The agent answered, “First, how about I move into your extra bedroom so we can work closely?”
Only in New York, only in Children, only in New York.
