Dear Abby

I’m a 48-year-old woman. When I was 17, I had a fling with a guy from my friend group. For me, it was just a casual encounter, but it meant a lot more to him.

He’s tried to reach out to me over the years. Even after I got married, he remained single. After my first husband died, I ran into him briefly. I shouldn’t have done that. I asked if he wanted to go on a date, but he was married at the time. (That marriage didn’t last long.) Then, he got upset when he learned that I met a wonderful guy.

Now, that wonderful guy and I are married, and this old acquaintance often jokes about being in love with me, saying I should leave my husband for him. I have no intention of doing that. Is it weird that after all these years, he’s still attached to me? – A history in Texas

Dear History: It sounds like your former connection hasn’t matured emotionally. What he’s feeling isn’t real romance. It’s quite disrespectful to both you and your husband. His fixation and inability to move on is unsettling. You should make it clear that you want him to stop contacting you, and if he persists, just block him.

Dear Abby

My son and stepdaughter welcomed their first child three months ago; this is the first grandchild for both families. Her mother stayed with them for two weeks after her C-section, and everything went well.

My issue arose when my son said he needed to leave shortly after returning home from the hospital, even though I live six and a half hours away. I pushed for at least three days to be with them. Eventually, he said I had to leave, but he didn’t ask his stepfather to do the same. I also suggested they get a motel for privacy, since I was there during the day.

When I expressed that my feelings were hurt, he accused me of being overly dramatic. I did respect their wishes, but now I’m confused—was it wrong to express my feelings? It’s creating tension between us. – Second Class in Tennessee

Dear Second Class: This situation isn’t truly about you. It revolves around adjusting to life with a new baby. Perhaps you were a bit too forward with your expectations. Your stepdaughter had just undergone surgery and needed her mother there, not her stepmother. Her father was likely also part of that equation. This isn’t about competing for attention, and if you push, you might find yourself less welcome than before.