Dear Abby: I really need your advice! I’m an educated woman in her 50s, and I’m struggling with kleptomania. It started a few years back when I accidentally took an item from my shopping cart. Since then, I’ve found myself easily swiping all sorts of things—shoes, makeup, jewelry, and clothes.
It feels like I can’t control myself. I keep telling myself, “Okay, that’s it! No more stealing.” But then I find myself doing it again. I desperately want to stop this craziness, but I can’t bring myself to confide in anyone. Please help me. – Taking what’s not mine in Tennessee
Dear Dosage: It sounds like trying to stop this on your own isn’t working. Perhaps it’s time to consider reaching out for help, even if it feels embarrassing. Your doctor or health insurance could help you get in touch with a therapist who can keep this under wraps. Don’t wait for a sign; just take the first step.
Dear Abby: I had dinner with a friend who told me he’s a recovering alcoholic and was in rehab a few years back. Lately, I’ve been questioning his sobriety because of some serious family issues he faces, and he claimed he no longer considers himself an alcoholic.
During dinner, I ordered wine, and he had his usual diet cola. But later, I noticed him drinking some of my leftover wine after I stepped away. When I returned, I said nothing. I’m unsure if that was the right choice or if I should’ve addressed what I saw. What’s the correct way to handle witnessing someone like that? – Surprised in New York
Dear Surprise: A problematic drinker doesn’t simply declare that they are no longer an alcoholic. Your friend might be recovering, but it sounds like he may still be struggling. If you’re really close, mentioning that you saw him drink could be beneficial. But if you don’t know him well, then staying quiet was probably the right move.
Dear Abby: My son is using donor sperm to conceive. His late father didn’t want him to know he wasn’t his biological dad, so I kept it a secret.
Now, my son is in his 30s and is exploring DNA testing. He’s confused about his ancestry, especially why he’s 60% Jewish when it doesn’t align with our family history. I’m torn about whether to reveal the truth. I feel guilty for not telling him when he was younger, but I’m afraid it might devastate him. – Worried Mom in Nevada
Dear Mom: “Children” are often more resilient than we give them credit for. You shouldn’t leave this unresolved. Your son deserves to know the truth about his conception since it was impossible for your husband to disclose that he was not biologically related to him. It’s sad he missed out on that love and guidance during his life.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
