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In our fast-paced lives, many couples tend to prioritize grand gestures like extravagant date nights or special trips to maintain their relationship’s spark.

However, experts are highlighting a much simpler, yet frequently overlooked element: kissing.

It’s not about the sex, or deep conversations; it’s really about those sweet, small moments—kisses.

This might seem trivial, but not incorporating this simple act can have more serious implications than couples may realize.

Mariah Freia, a sex education expert and co-founder of a platform called SexEd, described kissing as, “the most underrated relationship tool.”

While couples often fixate on their sexual frequency and communication skills, Freia argues that they might be missing out on one of the strongest indicators of long-term happiness: a genuine, regular kiss.

She posed an interesting question: “What happens when we stop kissing in a mechanical way and, even if it’s just for a few more seconds, really focus on it?” She suggests that when we do this, our mindset shifts from “greeting mode” to “connected mode,” making our partners more attractive to us.

Research from 2020 backs this claim, indicating that how often couples kiss is a strong predictor of both sexual satisfaction and overall relationship satisfaction.

Unfortunately, many couples are not kissing enough.

A survey from 2011 found that one in five married individuals go a week without kissing, and two in five report that their kisses last less than five seconds.

Interestingly, age also appears to influence kissing habits. Young adults, particularly those aged 18 to 24, kiss an average of 11 times a week, while about 5% of those over 45 report at least 31 kisses weekly.

Despite the busy lives many adults lead, experts suggest that the issue might run deeper. Brie Temple, a chief matchmaker, warns that if kissing diminishes, it might indicate shifting emotional dynamics. “Without these soft moments,” she explains, “your partner might feel more like a roommate than a lover.”

This isn’t just about a physical gesture; it signifies a shared emotional connection essential for maintaining a relationship.

Experts like Arthur Brooks, a social science researcher focused on love, emphasize that friendship is crucial for a lasting marriage. He stated, “The goal for your marriage is not passion; it’s friendship.” He believes that being each other’s closest friend should be the foundation of any strong marriage.