Living Longer and Thriving

At 96 years of age, Betty Parker has had enough of listening to others discuss their ailments. Instead, she keeps a journal filled with positive activities—like picking roses from her garden, reading, or enjoying card games with friends. Oh, and she loves baking pies, though she admits she might just grab one from the grocery store next time.

Parker feels that her 90s have been rich with purpose and connection, a challenge many people face regardless of their age. Experts note that while healthy habits such as nutritious eating and strength training contribute to longevity, addressing loneliness and social isolation is equally crucial. Dr. Kerry Burnight, a California-based gerontologist and Parker’s daughter, emphasizes this point.

Dr. John Batsis, a geriatrician, also highlights that life expectancy has generally improved over the last generation. However, he adds that it’s vital for individuals to enjoy those years rather than just live through them. It seems that the key to a fulfilling older age involves growing, connecting, adapting, and giving. Burnight suggests that, much like physical exercise, one can strengthen internal connections and sense of purpose.

It’s never too early or too late to cultivate a life you enjoy. Even if you haven’t retired yet, considering what your days might look like post-work could be beneficial. Batsis explains that the sudden shift from work can be jarring for those who have spent a lifetime in their careers.

The “retirement cliff,” as he puts it, can lead to feelings of losing everything—purpose, daily structure, and connections. Instead of a dramatic abrupt change, he recommends gradually picking up hobbies and activities you’d want to pursue after leaving work.

If you’ve already retired, seek out new opportunities for joy and passion. Burnight insists that starting new projects, like writing a book, is always possible, and you may have plenty of time to dive into your interests.

Engaging one’s mind is essential; daily crossword puzzles or sudoku are good, but doing challenging activities is crucial for cognitive sharpness. Burnight advocates for new experiences to nurture neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to grow and adapt. Sticking to the same routine can stifle this growth.

An example of this advice in action is one of Batsis’ patients, who began taking guitar lessons after retirement. Although he hadn’t considered himself musically gifted, this new endeavor led him to a whole new world of enjoyment, including attending concerts.

Alongside finding activities that require physical movement, Batsis stresses the importance of choosing interests that genuinely excite you. The focus should be on what you enjoy, as enthusiasm will naturally lead to more engagement. If books haven’t been your thing, you likely won’t be motivated to become a reader in your retirement years.

For caregivers, Burnight advises against doing things for loved ones that they can manage themselves. Encouraging independence can be beneficial, as challenging experiences can foster growth.

Parker plays canasta with a group she affectionately calls “the youngs,” who are women in their 60s that she met through her daughter-in-law. She values these diverse friendships, especially after outliving many of her close companions.

Just like diversifying a financial portfolio, she believes in having friends of various ages and backgrounds. If you’re looking to reconnect with old friends, social media can be a boon, helping you reach out to those you might not have spoken to in a while. Small interactions, like chatting with a neighbor, can lead to deeper connections.

Burnight emphasizes that investing in social ties is vital to combatting loneliness, which can be detrimental to longevity. Taking the initiative to organize plans or reach out to friends can be worthwhile, as these gestures build lasting relationships.

Finding Joy and Purpose

While Parker enjoys her 90s, she acknowledges that adaptation has been necessary. She traded in tennis years ago and sometimes needs a walker now, but these changes haven’t stopped her from sharing laughter with family or participating in local celebrations.

Burnight explains that aging comes with challenges, and those who age well are the ones who accept and embrace change. The way we respond to difficulties defines our experience of aging.

Research indicates that attitudes toward aging significantly impact actual aging. Those who maintain a positive outlook can live longer than those who adopt a more resigned view. Instead of resigning oneself to a view of aging as a decline, she suggests focusing on what one has to offer to others. Studies show those who engage in giving report higher levels of joy and purpose.

Feeling overwhelmed? You can start small. Delivering a friend some homegrown lemons or watching neighbors’ children for a bit can foster a sense of purpose. Even creative endeavors or simple acts of kindness can provide fulfillment.

In essence, purpose is daily and can grow from small decisions. It’s about asking yourself how you can leverage your unique strengths and experiences today.