Dear Abby: Torn Between Two Relationships

I’m 29 years old and have been with my boyfriend, Justin, for a decade. Recently, things have been tough since his business failed last year. I’ve been juggling two jobs, working ten shifts a week just to keep up with our mortgage and bills. It’s left us with barely any time together, which is really affecting our relationship.

Honestly, I didn’t plan to develop feelings for someone else, but now I have. There’s a coworker, Brad, with whom I talk a lot, and he makes me feel things I haven’t experienced in years. We flirt a bit, but nothing inappropriate. I don’t reach out to him outside of work.

From my perspective, we aren’t doing anything wrong, aside from harboring these feelings. We’ve not really talked about it, but I think he feels the same. Brad is quite shy and keeps to himself mostly, balancing school and two jobs.

I don’t want to leave Justin. I care about him, and we have a good connection. But I can’t just overlook these new feelings. What should I do? – Torn in California

Dear Torn:

Working two jobs with such long shifts can be overwhelming and stressful. It’s understandable that your bond with Justin is strained. I can see why you might seek a distraction like your connection with Brad. However, it’s worth noting that Brad hasn’t indicated he wants more than friendship. I’m not saying you should ignore how you feel about him, but it might be more beneficial to focus your energy on resolving the issues with Justin.

Dear Abby: Changing Dynamics in Our Social Circle

My husband and I have been part of a close social circle with other couples in their 50s and 60s, meeting at our local bar for happy hours and events. It’s been great—until recently.

Last year, one couple started bringing along their children and grandchildren, which has changed the vibe completely. With kids around, things get loud, messy, and the conversations shift. I like this couple, but their kids? Not so much.

Is there a polite way to steer our gatherings back to being adult-only without damaging our friendship, or should we just step back? – Unpleasant Times in the West

Dear Unpleasant Times:

Consider discussing this with other group members to see if they share your feelings about the kids being around. You might find that you’re not alone in your concerns. If others feel the same way, someone might need to address it. However, if it turns out that only you and your husband feel this way, it might be best to find other friends to socialize with.