A Father’s Love: The First Lesson in Unconditional Care
Every summer, we reflect on the special bond between a girl and her father. Long before she truly understands love or has the words to describe it, she learns from him. It’s in the way he gazes at her, how he remains present, and how he supports her through both tough and mundane days.
Before she ever steps into a church and hears about a constant, loving God, she has already been shaped by her experience with her father. These early impressions—be they positive or imperfect—will linger with her throughout her lifetime.
His unwavering presence evoked feelings in me that his illness couldn’t diminish.
The Importance of Fatherhood
A father’s role, particularly for his daughter, is monumental. He is her first teacher of unconditional love and her initial example of strength and compassion. Society tells countless tales of chivalrous knights and idealized relationships, creating a backdrop against which she might measure true love as she grows.
But a father has something more profound to offer than any storybook character. He becomes a tangible example of what it means to feel valued and cared for—as a real man stepping into her world.
When she matures to understand that God embodies a father’s love, she will naturally reach for the closest example she has. That is, for better or worse, you or your father.
Reflecting on My Own Experience
I often think about my father, Norm Haverkos, who battled multiple sclerosis for over four decades. By the time I was in elementary school, he struggled to walk, and eventually lost that ability entirely.
Yet, what he could do was continually show up. I often trailed my dad, seeking to be near him. My sister teased me, dubbing me “daddy’s darling,” and I never disagreed. I felt cherished, and he held a special place in my heart.
Despite his challenges, my father found ways to fulfill his responsibilities to us. Even when in a wheelchair, he was present—whether I was in my garage working on projects or attending events where I just needed him nearby.
He wouldn’t let his limitations confine him. Instead, he provided gentle guidance for our family, demonstrating faithfulness in ways that often defy traditional displays of strength. Just as a true shepherd leads by staying, he remained with us—much like Jesus, who loved and guided us through the complexities of life.
A Steady Influence
His consistent presence ignited something within me that his illness couldn’t extinguish. Through him, I learned about a God who doesn’t forsake His children when times get tough. My father was not perfect, but his presence gave me a sense of self-worth. Eventually, I understood where that love from my Father had always been directed.
The weight of fatherhood is significant. However, every father can embrace that responsibility with grace. You don’t need to be flawless to be a faithful parent. It’s okay to have questions and feel incomplete. If you feel you haven’t given your all, there’s always an opportunity for mercy and renewal—starting today.
The Legacy of Fatherhood
Norm Haverkos wasn’t without flaws. He may not have been perfect in health or mind, but the impact he made on my life shaped the futures of countless girls I would later support. That’s the essence of faithful fatherhood; its effects propagate in ways that aren’t always visible.
To every father reading this: Your daughter is observing you. She is learning about God through your actions. Your involvement influences her worldview, making it a sacred endeavor that is never too late to embrace.
Strive to become the man she instinctively admires. Strive to be the kind of father who embodies the love she’ll recognize, not only from you but also from your Heavenly Father.
