Dear Abby: My husband attempts to dominate me when we are around our friends

Dear Abby

I’ve been married to my husband for 40 years, and we share a close circle of friends. We camp, throw parties, and travel with them regularly. However, I’ve got a serious issue. My husband insists that I can’t have private conversations with the men in our group unless I clear it with him first. He’s even mentioned that he visits their wives mainly to check if their husbands are around.

We’ve never given him reason to suspect there’s anything going on between me and anyone else. I truly love him and think highly of his character.

So, I’m left wondering why he wants to control whom I speak to, or visit, without his approval. This has been an ongoing issue, and honestly, I’m at my breaking point. I’m seriously considering ending this relationship to find peace and connect with others. I really need advice on this. — Putting Up with It in Oregon

Dear Putting Up with It

Why didn’t you reach out about this 39 years ago? Your husband may present himself as honest and sincere, but his behavior stems from deep insecurity and a strong need to control you. It’s surprising that it’s taken this long for you to say, “Enough is enough!” I’d suggest marriage counseling for both of you, although I’m skeptical about his willingness to change. Individual counseling might empower you to make necessary decisions.

Dear Abby

Leaving my abusive marriage took a lot of courage, and the aftermath has been tough. My family struggles to accept that a woman could be abusive towards a man, and they’re skeptical of my situation. Even with therapy, my mother and sister doubt my sincerity. Yet, I have a wonderful 9-year-old daughter who motivated me to leave. I couldn’t model acceptance for her amidst that abuse.

Two years later, I’m in a healthier relationship, and my daughter is happy with how we both treat her. However, my family continues to criticize me and insists they won’t communicate anymore, suggesting this is why I left my ex-husband, which isn’t true. (I didn’t anticipate this reaction.)

Now, my mother, who refuses to speak with me, has indicated she might take me to court for the right to see my daughter. After witnessing my ex’s treatment of me, my daughter has expressed that she doesn’t want to spend time with my mother. I’m concerned about what’s best for her and whether I should be worried about this legal threat. — Unresolved in Ohio