Dear Abby: Struggles with Work and Relationships

Dear Abby: I’m in my early 30s and I’ve got some good things going on—like a recent move into a house and marrying a man I truly love. I have friends, hobbies, and aspirations, one of which is to write novels. However, I’m currently stuck in a marketing job at a tech company.

Here’s the catch: I’m feeling down about my job. To be honest, marketing in the tech field isn’t really my passion. It’s been my main source of income for a while, but the stress and fast pace often make it overwhelming.

Normally, I cope with work stress by running, writing, and hanging out with friends. But lately, those activities aren’t providing the usual relief. I notice that I’m not enjoying my free time as much anymore.

I feel like I’ve attempted to write my novel amidst this chaotic work environment and it hasn’t gone well. I’m worried that if I leave my job, I might struggle to keep up with the mortgage, thereby adding more pressure on my husband. He’s also unhappy with his tech job, yet he’s working to support both of us.

I’m not sure that switching to a different tech marketing role would make a difference, either. I mean, it’s just the nature of the field that’s getting me down, and I still need a job that will pay the bills and help us save for a future child, which is another dream of mine. How can I escape this cloud of gloom? Am I asking for too much from life? — Stuck in California

Dear Stuck: Have you considered taking on a part-time job in tech? This could help with the mortgage while giving you time to focus on writing. Maybe set a one-year goal to evaluate your writing progress. Best of luck!

Dear Abby: Is it time to change the way I handle finances with my husband? We’ve been married for 18 years, sharing one checking account. He has a separate account for his side business while I maintain my own for work-related expenses like renewing my license and ongoing education. Recently, he’s insisted I cover my medical bills myself, which used to come from our joint account.

I have a history of thyroid cancer, and my family has faced more serious health issues. He argues that I visit the doctor too frequently, though I typically only go for annual checkups, thyroid tests, and gynecological visits. We do have insurance through our hospital.

I’m starting to think it might be wise to have my paycheck deposited into my own account, transferring money to the joint account for shared expenses as needed. We’re both quite traditional, so I want to avoid conflict over this. We’re both working full-time, yet we still feel financially strained. — Split in Indiana

Dear Split: You raise an important issue. I suggest you and your husband meet with a financial advisor to discuss a fair arrangement for both of you. Your CPA might also offer some useful insights.