Reflections on Father’s Day
Father’s Day brings a complex mix of feelings.
For some, it’s a time of appreciation. For others, it might stir up sadness, anger, regret, or a deep sense of longing. While some reflect fondly on the dads they cherished, others struggle to recall their fathers at all.
Recently, a friend of mine lamented, “Looks like I need to find a way to honor my dad.” His pause conveyed so much more than his words ever could.
I remember years ago, a caller on my radio show shared his experience caring for his elderly father, who had been a cruel alcoholic. Even at 52, he felt reduced to that 11-year-old boy, navigating old wounds.
Time has passed, but some scars take longer to heal.
Another friend put it bluntly: “My father was a pedophile.” Just that statement, stark and without explanation, encapsulated a life marred by betrayal.
I once listened to a renowned pastor share his grief at his father’s grave. At 16, he expressed how anguished he felt, wishing for just one word of affirmation, one acknowledgment of love.
He wasn’t mourning material losses; instead, he grieved for what could have been—a relationship that never flourished.
Even as we grapple with our identities, there’s an undeniable truth: many feel a significant absence in their lives. Despite ongoing discussions about who we are, countless individuals find themselves endlessly searching for paternal connection.
Every day, men become fathers. But being a father? That involves so much more.
Fathers are nurturers. They guide, protect, teach, and sometimes challenge. A single word can inspire courage or instill fear. The choices made can either bolster a child for life’s challenges or leave lasting marks.
A father’s voice can reach into the depths of a child’s soul in ways that are often unexplainable.
43 years ago, my wife emerged from a coma after a tragic car accident. In her disorientation, lost and in immense pain, she had no idea what lay ahead. The first words she heard were from her father.
“Daddy’s here, Gracie. Daddy’s here.”
Though she didn’t comprehend where “here” was, she recognized her father’s voice. It was a small grounding amidst the confusion.
A few years later, our son had an accident at the playground that led to stitches. As I held him through the ordeal, I could see the fear in his eyes. He was looking for answers I simply couldn’t provide. All I could say was, “It’s okay, daddy is here.”
In that moment, the reassurance, though vague, was what mattered most to him.
Some fathers abandon their children early on. Others are burdened by their pasts. While some manage to find comfort in their voices, for others, those voices echo with pain.
Many spend years trying to detach their perception of God from their experiences with their own fathers.
The Bible, however, encourages us to perceive our fathers through a divine lens rather than the other way around.
Even when Jesus cried out in anguish, questioning why He felt abandoned, His father remained steadfast in love and purpose. The suffering was genuine, yet it was part of a broader divine narrative.
Life leads us down bewildering and often fearful pathways: hospitals, graves, and dark nights filled with heavy diagnoses. In these circumstances, answers are needed, but faith thrives even in uncertainty.
As I grow older, I relate more and more to the feeling my son had on that examination table. He couldn’t grasp the severity of his situation or why I allowed it; he just sensed my presence.
Living in Montana serves as a reminder of our own smallness. The mountains and rivers have been here long before us, indifferent to our plans and aspirations.
We really are smaller than we sometimes think.
Yet, there’s a voice that surpasses even the oldest of mountains, something that will never fade.
Gracie’s father whispering “Daddy’s here” became a profound gift of comfort as she awakened in a world she’d barely returned to.
But even that voice is just an echo.
Good fathers embody that essence. They strive to resonate louder. Even those who falter can’t erase their impact.
When words fail, that reassuring voice finds its way to the hearts of children.
Perhaps that’s why those words, “Daddy’s here, Gracie,” continue to resonate deeply with me.
In times of fear, they reflect a far greater promise.
