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Expect ‘Merrily We Roll Along’ to steamroll through the Tony Awards

Tony Awards Aims for Depth with ‘Roll’

The Tony Awards are about to be announced, and the audience is going to sleep.

Statuettes include “Prayer to the French Republic,” “Illinois,” and Christopher Diaz’s “Hell’s Kitchen.”

It’s possible that New Jersey Senator Menendez’s wife, Nadine, hid tickets in her closet in an attempt to block these blockbuster films from doing well at the box office.

What about Best Musical Revival? Daniel Radcliffe in “Merrily We Roll Along”.

It is also nominated for Best Actor in a Musical, Best Supporting Actor, Best Direction, Best Supporting Actress, Best Sound Design and Best Orchestrations.

No one would not eat a bagel and cream cheese to get a ticket, I’m just saying they would win.

Some voters are big fans of “Hell’s Kitchen.” Who knows who else has seen it? Even the Squeegees avoid the area.

And if I’m wrong and there’s the 300th high school version of “Here Comes the Iceman,” don’t invite me.

“Apprariate” will likely be named for best play revival. Also about the star, Sarah Paulson.

Broadway Bucks

So why is the Great White Way in decline? Money, taxes, prices. Stupid rehashes. Tickets, parking, salaries, the rising cost of Uber and taxi rides, dinner, babysitting, transportation, repairing an old air conditioner, buying drinks on your break are second only to a down payment on an apartment.

And as Democrats may know, Donald didn’t make the local real estate agents or math.

Unless you grew up in the Okefenokee Swamp, you know that patrons don’t like people who aren’t famous.

Also, production companies dislike the high operating costs and the lack of recoupment of their investments, as do concession vendors, restroom attendants and guides.

And then there are the costs of everything: transportation, designers, dressmakers, assistants, musicians, cleaners, ushers, Playbill printers, even that stuffed partridge in the pear tree in Act Three.

The show must go on

On TV, NY1’s B’way celebrity reporter Frank DiLella is saying next year will be a big hit for B’way.

Check out the names that are or will be on the marquee: Julia Roberts, Daniel Craig, Tom Hanks, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bradley Cooper. It’s becoming an elitist event.

The next season will feature George Clooney, whose lawyer wife accompanies him to New York and who hates and despises Israel.

Why is next year going to be a big one? Because no new projects have conducted workshops, either during or after the pandemic.

The expected average seat price in 2025 is $200. Premium seats (if you really want to see the stage) will cost $500-600, plus maybe a few more pounds in service charges.

What a novel idea!

Another pet peeve: If you can’t make plays, why don’t you just stop writing books?

Are all the aging actors writing memoirs in which they recall their drunken fathers, their playboy mothers, and their uncles from Pish Tash, Iowa (next to the incorporated village of Mashed Mouth) who loved turnip soup?

Nobody cares about you, so why should you care about this stupid old man? Nobody will buy this book! I’m not writing a book, and even if I did, no one would read it.

This little producer was checking out a beautiful dancer for his musical. He said, “You’re perfect — your height, your moves, your face. How much do you want to pay?” She replied, “Two-five hundred dollars a week.” “Sorry,” the producer said, “You’re too tall.”

It’s just New York, kids, it’s just New York.