An Australian hairdresser who used to donate sperm to lesbian couples was shocked last month when she received an email from them saying they no longer wanted to use her seed because of the current conflict in Gaza.
Jay Lazarus, 37, who describes himself as a proud gay Jewish man born in South Africa and raised in Australia, told the Post he was upset by their decision.
The journey began in October 2022 when the Perth-based stylist, who had always wanted to donate sperm to help couples, joined a Facebook group helping couples find sperm donors.
Mr Lazarus said he was shocked by the Queensland couple's story and decided he wanted to help them.
Fertility methods are very different from Down Under, with Lazarus undergoing months of genetic testing, medical tests and face-to-face counseling sessions with her partner. He also grew close to both of them, speaking with them on Zoom chats and keeping in touch weekly via text and phone calls.
The couple knew from the beginning that Lazarus was Jewish.
He was also very open about how much they wanted him in their children's lives. He was happy to have an “uncle” figure known as his biological father, or if they preferred, no contact at all.
He donated his sperm in September 2023, and it was immediately frozen for three months pending further testing.
Since October 7, Lazarus has shared posts on Instagram supporting Israel, but none criticizing Palestinians. The couple did not mention or comment on the post.
However, last month, she suddenly sent him an email and the relationship ended.
They expressed their “deep gratitude” and acknowledged that he had been “absolutely amazing throughout this whole journey,” but had been “deeply affected” by “the war between Israel and I felt reluctant to continue using his sperm for this purpose. Gaza. ”
“We are faced with deep emotional and ethical challenges and are falling down a rabbit hole,” the text reads in part. “And the truth is, we feel lost as it is.”
They emphasized that it was “about love and kindness,” but “we didn't feel like we had the ability to navigate that part of your identity in this donor relationship, so we Please respectfully end this now.”
Lazarus was devastated and after enduring it for weeks decided to share his story on social media to “share what I learned.”
“Even in progressive circles that champion 'kindness and love,' prejudice remains persuasive,” he wrote. “Anti-Semitism is not just a relic of the past, but a living prejudice that continues today.
He acknowledged that he “cannot change their views,” but added: “I refuse to let it tarnish my pride or make me lose hope.
“I'm proud to be gay, proud to be Jewish, and proud to stand up against hate.”
Lazarus said she received only supportive comments, adding, “There wasn't a single negative comment. It was actually incredible and I was shocked by them.”
He said he received a message from a couple in Queensland, but admitted they had not yet opened it.
“I'm in Melbourne right now,” he explained, and I'm having a great time with friends for a wedding. “I don't want you to get mad at me for ruining your weekend.”
Lazaro, who got married in December, has not given up on donating sperm.
He is currently dating another couple, who unfortunately had a miscarriage, but plans to remarry in March.
“They are so supportive and wonderful,” he said. “I think they were worried that I would hurt them.”
