Calm down, you animals. Welcome to the fake news. As the election draws near, the media surrounds an indecisive Joe Biden to convince us that what we are seeing with our own eyes isn’t real. This year’s fake news even has a whole new buzzword: “cheapfake.” It’s a term the left uses to confuse people with deepfakes without actually lying. It’s like saying my pool boy is tied up at work. Thanks. Thanks, perverts. But now the phrase is suddenly ubiquitous among commentators who make a living posing as journalists. And not in a fun way, like when I stole Brit Hume’s identity to buy a human kidney on the dark web, because I already had one of my own. Roll.
Karine Jean-Pierre comes under fire for claiming Biden video is a deepfake: ‘Don’t believe your lying eyes!’
MSNBC, Monday: There is an insidious trend in the right-wing media of taking highly misleading and selectively edited videos of President Biden and then using those videos to spread messages and cast doubt on his fitness to serve as president.
MSNBC, Tuesday: Republican accounts circulating many of these videos insisted they were unedited and promised to keep posting them.
CNN, Tuesday: We’ve been concerned about AI deepfakes for years – the fear that computer-generated images could trick people into believing flat-out lies. Cheap fakes are a little more straightforward. They’re cheap. They’re just distorted, out-of-context video chopped up in a certain way and framed in a certain way. That’s what we’re seeing.
Oh, isn’t that just adorable? It’s like they’re holding us to a higher standard than they are. Like when Gerald once told me that a mustache makes me look like a perv. CBS took it a step further and annotated a clip that actually features the 100% real Joe with “digitally altered video.” To protect Joe, I suppose. Well, okay, CBS. Try that trick here. Is this video digitally altered?
The White House, Tuesday: My name is Joe Biden, husband to Jill Biden. I want to thank members of Congress and the Secretary of Homeland Security…
Hold on, it may have been digitally altered, so let’s play it again and listen.
The White House, Tuesday: My name is Joe Biden, husband to Jill Biden, and I want to thank members of Congress and the Secretary of Homeland Security…
Charlamagne Tha God says Biden is “acting corny and stupid” because he’s not actually talking to voters
No, sorry, guys. It’s real. It’s the leader of the free world. I wouldn’t let him lead a conga line in a nursing home. Now, as the saying goes, the louder the left yells about something, the more likely they are perpetrating it themselves. So when we’re told that Joe is as sharp as the inside of a soup can lid, but always behind closed doors of course, we’re told that the video of Joe stumbling and slurring is all an elaborate hoax, which raises an important question: Are you making fun of me? This is it. This has got to be the lamest cover-up since Dana put black shoe polish on Jesse’s bald head.
Remember who these anti-hoax Ghostbusters are? These are the same charlatans who spread the “respectable people” hoax that the media falsely claimed Trump supported the Nazis. That was the only reason Biden was running. Worse yet, it gave the Democrats the right to claim that 70 million people voted for Nazi enthusiasts, which led to Trump’s delirium and inability to assess the dire state of the country under Biden. This entire hoax has been the foundation of the last four years. Think about it. They didn’t think about it. And now they’re trying to get us to think about the context of their guy who is clearly unfit for duty. What is the larger context of an old man who can’t walk? Gravity. But that was just the beginning of the hoax perpetrated by the demented politicians.
Karine Jean-Pierre criticizes Biden’s ‘cheap fake’ video: ‘Too much misinformation’
Remember the drinking bleach hoax, where Trump recommended drinking bleach as a coronavirus treatment? They were practically saying Trump invented the Clorox Martini. A twist of lemon wouldn’t hurt. Then there was the koi pond hoax, where Trump dumping a box of fish food into a pond was supposed to be the diplomatic blunder equivalent of taking his pants off while meeting with the Pope. That was fake. Remember the caged immigrant kids hoax, where Alexander Ocasio-Cortez was crying like someone had taken his crayons away from him. Of course, they left out that the program started under Obama. And honestly, in my experience with caged kids, they grow up to be much more responsible people. There was also the Russian urine tape hoax. Sorry, but Joe Biden is the only president Joe Biden has ever had Joe Biden pee on him. There’s also the “don’t say gay” bill hoax, where he never said don’t say gay.
Apparently the media was conflating gays with pushing sexually explicit books on kids. Then there was the hoax about border agents whipping migrants. Nobody was whipped. It was horse reins. Any glue factory owner knows that. Covington kids, I hope they win their lawsuit so they can hire Don Lemon to wash their helicopters. Speaking of kids, remember when the media reported that he showed up to a football game in blackface? Turns out the kid was just wearing the team colors.
So who was blushing after that incident? Not the media, because even if it’s not true, racism is there somewhere. What about Russian collusion? Everyone from Adam Schiff to Rachel Maddow tried to convince us that Trump was a Russian agent. But as soon as that Russian agent left office, Putin attacked Ukraine again. If Trump was a Russian spy, he’d get a terrible rating on Yelp. And then, of course, there’s the laptop story. When 51 agents told us that Hunter’s computer was Russian disinformation. They were lying, and they knew it. Like when my scoutmaster ordered us to share sleeping bags. And remember this clown?
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MSNBC, October 19, 2020: We should view this as nothing more than a Russian disinformation operation, but even if we believe it, the essence of it is still a story about Joe Biden loving his son.
That’s journalism. Like Edward R. Murrow after getting hit in the face with a frying pan. Then we’re told COVID-19 came from bat soup in a wet market. Hey Fauci, that’s the best you could come up with? You caused a global catastrophe and people still think you’re a hero.
Millions are dead and we can’t eat Buttburgers anymore. So, as the hoax season returns, remember it’s them, not you. They are behind this hoax. No wonder they have to fund “The View” so heavily. It’s a runaway train powered by cow dung.
