Note: This is a satirical piece.
The liberal islands of college campuses continue to fail us. A look at the response to the Arab Spring Break protests across the country tells you all you need to know.
At my alma mater (or most state universities), this didn’t happen because kids had to find jobs after school. But the supposed “elite universities” have been in a downward spiral ever since stupid leftists took full control of them years ago. The protests are ridiculous, but what would you expect from a college class that first ate Tide Pods as a teenager?
These stupid protesters are actually saying “against the powers that be” when what they are trying to say is completely in line with the corporate legacy media, Hollywood, and their tenured college professors. He is telling the truth.” What a brave resistance movement!
When our federal government gives over $1 billion in a year to a private school like Columbia University, which has an endowment of about $14 billion, you know it’s buying something. In this case, in 2022 he had 36,639 students attending Columbia University, and in 2023 she had 20,321 international students creeping into the university.
The violent occupation on Columbia University’s campus spread to other Ivy League schools. Encouraged by tenured left-wing professors, students joined the Quad in protest. When I asked some of them, they didn’t even know what they were protesting, but by God, they were proud! At least we got some good folk music from the 60’s protests. I’m worried that these current protests could be the catalyst for new Lizzo music.
So what’s the answer? I propose a two-campus solution. One campus is for “students” who like to demonstrate against everything, and the other is for “students” who want to learn, get a job, and someday become productive members of society. It could be for those who want it. Another solution: Maybe, once the $90 billion check passes, Ukraine or Israel could send peacekeepers to our campuses.
The only way I could think of to end the protest and disperse the crowd was to tell the kids that anti-Semitism contains gluten.
The “demonstrators” were given pamphlets with instructions on how to protest. If you know anything about 18-25 year olds today, they couldn’t organize a one-car funeral. They are lemmings, woke and entitled.
The left has turned to Hamas. I thought the 9/11 attacks taught me everything I needed to know about Islamic extremists.
Rape incident by Hamas member October 7th when they invaded Israel. But the progressive women’s movement known as MeToo has remained eerily quiet. Fortunately for Hamas, it’s not Christmas songs, statues of the Founding Fathers, syrup bottles or male candidates for the Supreme Court.
Biden, who was late to the game, tweeted a subtle word salad in response to all of this. Jews vote 80 percent Democratic, so he’s making political calculations in his lukewarm response. Biden did indeed fly to Israel and ask Prime Minister Netanyahu two questions that will forever be (to him) puzzling. “Who am I and why am I here?”
When first asked about Hamas, Biden said he always liked guacamole. Then he was explained about it, probably using a puppet. He decided he didn’t want to lose Michigan, which has a large Muslim population. He squinted at the teleprompter and forced a speech that neither side could understand.
Biden and the Democrats have failed to respond to Israel, like us, having its southern border seized by giving the invaders debit cards, hotel rooms, and air travel. So they did what they always do when things go wrong: blamed the Republicans for the problem and tried to write a check from the U.S. Treasury.
There is one important point here. Thinking that Israel is coercive in the Gaza Strip does not make you an anti-Semite. That’s what happens when you chant “Death to the Jews.” Discussion on this is important.
This is another religious war. I have been warning you not to get drawn into the religious wars of 2000 and Bush’s Middle East folly. it’s complicated. As you should have learned in Afghanistan and Iraq, we don’t help. We are only stirring up tensions.
It’s funny to see people express their opinions about the Middle East when conflicts are erupting. Everyone becomes an expert in their area. But if you ask them where Jordan is, they’ll say: “I’m retired, I smoke cigars, and I play a lot of golf,” he said.
Ron Hart is a liberal editorial humorist, award-winning author, and frequent guest on television and radio. Contact him at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.
