The unsettling reality about human nature is that envy drives conflict. It’s also the motivation behind many accomplishments.
Let’s take a step back. Does that sound overblown? I actually don’t think so, and I’ll explain my reasoning.
Consider James 4:1-2, which asks, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desire that battles within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.”
This passage presents a stark view of the human psyche, suggesting that passion, desire, and greed are at the heart of all disputes. The verse references the Tenth Commandment, which addresses covetousness. In it, the term “covet” doesn’t always imply negative desire. It can refer to good desires that are pursued for the wrong reasons.
In essence, desire can become problematic when it leads to harmful longing.
The Nature of Sinful Desire
Desiring something isn’t inherently sinful; it’s the nature of that desire that matters. For instance, wanting your neighbor’s house or spouse isn’t the issue; wanting it simply because it’s theirs is where greed enters.
We, as social beings, often want things for reasons that are more complex than we realize.
When you grasp this underlying dynamic, it’s hard not to notice its presence everywhere.
This can be seen in fashion trends. If a popular student sports the latest Nikes, those shoes become more than just footwear; they symbolize status. This creates social currency, distinguishing the “cool kids” from the rest. Those without those shoes may feel the need to have them—not out of necessity, but for the social standing that comes with them.
So, wanting shoes isn’t sinful per se. It becomes an issue when the desire stems purely from comparison. When your worth depends on what others have, that’s when desire heads toward sin. You become aware of the gap between you and others and want to close it, often by acquiring what they possess.
Comparative Dissatisfaction
The Tenth Commandment states, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Exodus 20:17). A notable aspect of this commandment is that it speaks to things that your neighbor already possesses.
This indicates that many of our grievances arise from comparing ourselves to others.
This is a common human experience. Our dissatisfaction often stems from relative comparisons. For example, you might feel satisfied with your regular car until a neighbor pulls in with a brand new Mercedes. That flashy vehicle shifts your reference point and suddenly your car feels inadequate.
Or consider a man who thinks his wife is the most beautiful woman until he sees a friend’s wife, who is stunning. This can make his own partner seem less desirable when placed side by side.
The value we assign to things often derives from such comparisons. We covet not just for the inherent worth of an item, but because others have it. This greedy yearning can escalate quickly; we convince ourselves we *need* something and might even feel entitled to it. When everyone else has something, we might feel wronged or resentful towards those who possess it.
Desire for Others’ Success
Yearning isn’t confined to material possessions. It can also manifest in envy toward others’ looks, talents, or accomplishments.
Ecclesiastes 4:4 notes, “I observed that all labor and achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbor.” This observation rings true if we’re open to it. The greatest triumphs of humanity can often be traced back to envy.
At work, a person may become envious of a colleague’s success and strive to outdo them. For Christians, the pursuit of excellence might blend social motivations with spiritual ones; respect is often linked to comparison.
Once you recognize this dynamic, it’s pervasive. Charles C. Colton noted, “For one man who truly rejoices in our misfortune, there are a thousand who genuinely dislike our success.” Humans aren’t just eager for what others possess but often become objects of their envy.
This longing can work in reverse, too. François de La Rochefoucauld pointed out, “In the misfortunes of our best friends, we often find something offensive.” This isn’t just a cruel observation; it reflects a deeper truth. We can find joy in the setbacks of those we feel competitive with, even if we genuinely care for them.
So we rip apart our self-esteem by comparing ourselves to others while yearning for their possessions or achievements. When that longing intensifies, it can ignite conflicts, quarrels, and worse.
This aspect of human nature leads to damaged relationships, broken marriages, and divides within friendships, communities, and even nations.
René Girard argued that the Tenth Commandment is strategically placed last in the Decalogue, fundamentally recognizing the role of desire in stirring violence, as addressed in the prior commandments.
Three Case Studies of Destructive Longing
Desire for someone else’s spouse: Longing can elevate normal marital issues into full-blown crises. Why does this happen? One couple compares their challenges with another’s, often concluding others have it easier. They might perceive their struggles as more significant than they actually are, while feeling envious of seemingly “perfect” couples.
Everyone presents an idealized version of their lives publicly, often creating misleading comparisons. When someone longs for another’s partner, it reflects an internal dissatisfaction masked as hope for a better family dynamic.
Desire for another church: The joy of church activities can diminish when other congregations possess lively ministries that shine brighter than your own. Your church may be perfectly fine, but witnessing another community’s growth and outreach can evoke feelings of envy.
It’s quite possible that if you were unaware of these other churches, you wouldn’t feel dissatisfied. Instead, you might start questioning the effectiveness of your own church, wondering if things could be better.
People often disguise their dissatisfaction under the guise of “concerns” about ministry quality, leading to emails to pastors expressing frustrations or even switching congregations entirely.
Desire for other social groups: Winston Churchill referred to socialism as “the philosophy of failure, the gospel of envy.” This ideology thrives on collective grievances, feeding on a shared sense of discontent against a perceived adversary.
Greedy desires can foster solidarity among groups sharing a common cause but often lead to an unhealthy longing for the supposed success or achievements of others, often loaded with resentment.
For instance, “the poor” might envy the wealth of “the rich,” not realizing these classifications depend heavily on context. The standards of being “poor” or “rich” shift constantly, yet the cycle of envy remains.
Similarly, “whiteness” has become a scapegoat in societal discourse, shortcuts to blame placed on a demographic. Phrases like “white privilege” expose the envy underlying social issues, shifting blame to an entire class rather than focusing on personal agency.
Conclusion
Given all this, it’s clear why James posed those questions. What incites conflicts? What spurs arguments? If we confront our desires honestly, recognizing their roots in social comparison and dissatisfaction, we can approach repentance with genuine humility.
We might then learn to appreciate what we have, adjusting our standards of contentment to reflect not what others possess but the generosity shown to us.
Ultimately, every individual is blessed in ways beyond comprehension. Focusing on divine grace leads to gratitude, promoting peace within ourselves and reducing conflicts caused by envy.
