Dear Abby: Issues with My Husband’s Temper

Dear Abby: My husband has a terrible temper. Whenever there’s an issue with the food or service at a restaurant, or if I get frustrated with another driver while driving, he directs his anger at me relentlessly, repeating the same things over and over. This only happens when we’re alone; he keeps it together around friends and family. When I get stressed out—because, honestly, I sometimes have indigestion when I eat—and I ask him to stop, he turns it back on me, insisting I need to vent without saying anything, even when I just want to enjoy our meal.

We’ve talked about it multiple times. I’ve tried to approach the subject when he’s calm, but his response is always the same: I need to deal with it. When I attempt to reason with him, he makes excuses and shifts the blame back to me. Because of this, I’m seriously considering leaving him. Just so you know, he’s nearly 70 and has behaved this way for most of his life. — Ready to Escape in Tennessee

Ready: How long have you been married? If this kind of behavior has cropped up less than once, it’s time to draw a line and seek legal advice. But if this is a pattern throughout your marriage, I can’t help but wonder why it took you so long to reach out for help. It’s clear he can control his actions if he chooses to.

If you’re staying for financial security—since you didn’t mention any love for this bully—just know that this is the price of those years. You shouldn’t accept constant criticism. You’re nearing your breaking point, so it might be time to present him with choices: either he addresses his verbal aggression or you separate to avoid being subjected to it.

Dear Abby: An Unfortunate Incident

Dear Abby: I was recently at a local recreation center training. At one point, as I stood up straight, my friend “Seth” accidentally bumped into me from far away. He thought I looked funny and took some pictures to share with our friends. I was fine with that.

However, a teenager and his father, who I know, happened to be in Seth’s line of sight when he took those pictures. Seth’s father mistakenly thought he was photographing his son. Seth got upset and denied it, but now he feels he can’t even show his dad the picture of me. So now Seth is being wrongly accused. Should I step in and clear things up with the father? — In the middle of Texas

In the middle: Absolutely, you should. If not, Seth might face serious repercussions.

Season’s Greetings

To our readers: Wishing everyone celebrating Easter a meaningful and joyful day. Happy Easter to all! — Love, Abby