Dear Abby Advice

Dear Abby: I recently had a disagreement with my mother regarding the mortgage situation. I hold the mortgage and title to her house because she needed my financial help to build one, as she couldn’t do it on her own. So, I stepped in and assisted her.

Now, I’m married, and my husband wants to refinance our home. The issue is, I still have the mortgage on my mother’s house. I’ve asked her a couple of times to forgive my part of the mortgage, but she insists, “We can’t do that. We need you.” When I brought it up one last time, she became defensive.

My mother thinks my husband is somehow controlling me or persuading me to get the mortgage forgiven. She even says she “hates him” now and refuses to see him or his family. This has created a rift between us, and she’s become quite mean. It feels childish—like she’s throwing a tantrum. I’m at a loss for how to handle this. Any advice? — Enslaved in Maryland

Dear Enslaved: I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Resolving the mortgage issue with your mother might be more complicated than you anticipate. Since untangling this can take time and be costly, it would be wise to consult a real estate attorney who can provide you with guidance.

Dear Abby: My partner and I host a book club that has turned out to be quite popular. People enjoy the food and wine we provide. However, there are two attendees who come regularly, even though they weren’t officially invited. They’ve been joining with their spouses without an invitation since we asked them years ago.

We find these two women quite bothersome. They tend to complain a lot about their personal issues and rarely contribute anything meaningful to our book discussions. Honestly, I wonder if they’ve ever really read any of the books we’ve chosen.

It’s possible that other participants share our sentiments, but I do know some of our friends interact with them. I’ve suggested to my partner that we should remove them from our invitation list, but they think it would create a bad impression if we did that. Is there a considerate way to stop inviting them without being harsh? I dread the thought of them being part of our gatherings forever. — I hate this section on the west side.

Dear I Hate This Section: If you don’t set clear expectations at your next meeting—ones that should have been established from the start—you may find yourself hosting these two for years to come. You could require that members read the book prior to the meeting and keep discussions focused. It’s not unreasonable to implement this kind of guideline.