Dear Abby
I’m grappling with my integrity and some significant friendships. My friend Beth’s husband, Jerry, came over to help with a construction project. After we discussed the work, we took a break and chatted. He was really kind and affectionate, something I haven’t experienced in, well, a decade. He mentioned that love doesn’t always need to mean something, which I partially agree with. I did tell him it was inappropriate, but when he kissed me before leaving, I didn’t stop him.
Even though I knew it was wrong, there was a thrill in being kissed again. I genuinely don’t want that to happen again, but now I’m hesitant to reach out to him about it. I worry that it might not stay between us. When I found out something like this happened, I couldn’t forgive Beth. Her friendship matters to me, and I’m anxious that I might have jeopardized it. What should I do? — Fear and Worry
Dear Fear, I understand your concerns. If Jerry is behaving this way with you, it’s likely he might do the same with other women too. You may not need to tell Beth what happened, but seriously consider finding another contractor for any ongoing or future work. Jerry seems to fit the profile of someone who could take advantage of you after a lengthy gap in affection.
Dear Abby
My son, Grant, is 37 and has autism. Five years ago, my ex-wife removed him from a group home and took him out of the country. I made the mistake of allowing her guardianship years ago, and when I attempted to intervene, I couldn’t prevent them from leaving. Since then, I’ve had no communication with either my ex-wife or Grant.
I live with my 40-year-old daughter, her three children, and my husband. I also have a 35-year-old daughter who lives independently. My daughters maintain consistent communication with their mother. My ex-wife visits the U.S. once a year, and we occasionally meet.
Both daughters had a tough childhood due to Grant’s violent behavior, but we have a strong relationship now. However, whenever I inquire about Grant, I receive an angry reaction. I wouldn’t be shocked if Grant was no longer alive. It hit me that I might not have much time left and could pass away without knowing what happened to him. I have no photos or updates. What can I do? — Sad Father in New Jersey
Dear Sad Dad, It sounds like your ex-wife and daughters are choosing silence regarding your son’s situation. That’s quite harsh. There are steps you can take. Call your attorney and see what information you can gather regarding Grant. If necessary, consider hiring a private investigator to track down where your ex-wife took him and confirm his well-being. My heart goes out to you.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, known as Jeanne Phillips, who followed in her mother Pauline Phillips’s footsteps. For more information, contact: www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
