Dear Abby: I am a single mother raising five young children on my own. I own a home, have a good job, and am doing well financially. Five years ago, after years of making bad financial decisions, my parents showed up on my doorstep. Their home was in foreclosure. I have received a lot of advice along the way. Since then, I have been offering advice to help them get back on their feet. Almost never taken.
Living with them brought up problems from my childhood, most of which they were involved in, but not responsible for. They pay me a little bit of the rent, help me with the housework, and sometimes watch the kids. However, past issues are still evident and I don't want that example around my children.
I have made it clear for months that they have overstayed their welcome, but they argue with me and take no steps to stand up. I tried meeting with them and my brothers. These end up in shouting matches and nothing changes. I know that if I kick them out, there's a good chance the relationship will end. Is that my only option? — Dissatisfied Daughter
Dear daughter: You have been kind and accepting of your parents, but you are being taken advantage of. This is an issue you should consult with a lawyer. This is because after parents have camped out in your home for an extended period of time, a formal eviction may be required to remove them.
Don't expect to be thanked for the help you've given them so far. Also, as far as I read your letter correctly, do not expect any assistance from your brothers. Do what you have to do for yourself and your children. You have contributed enough to your parents.
Dear Abby: This morning I noticed my husband chatting on the phone with a much younger woman. Ever since then, she had been wondering if she should ask him out. He just retired, but I'm still working, and I only work in the afternoons and evenings. He is extroverted and he loves being with people. Should I be worried that he is cheating?
We have been married for 30 years and have grown children. Our sex life is not good. For many years, we worked opposite shifts, so we never went to sleep and woke up at the same time. We do that now, but he's alone in the afternoons and evenings. I don't have any friends I can trust enough to talk to, and of course I can't say anything to my family. can you help? — Suspicious in New Mexico
Dear Suspicious: I think you already know quite a bit about this much younger woman since you know her age. If you ask her husband about this, he should make it clear that he saw her phone. Spouses usually don't do that unless they suspect something is going on.
If you think his actions could threaten your marriage, you need to come clean and tell him that you feel threatened by what you saw. It is better to confront the problem than to ignore it and hope that it will resolve itself.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
