Dear Abby: My dad has relied on my mom (and me) for money for as long as I can remember, not because he couldn’t work, but because he was lazy and drank and gambled. My parents eventually divorced and my dad moved into my sister’s (my aunt’s) house. My aunt passed away in 2016, which left my dad homeless, so my sister and I bought my aunt’s house from her cousin so my dad could live there.
Fast forward. My father is planning to remarry. I would hate to pay for him to live in our house for free, but I have absolutely no intention of paying for my father’s future wife to live in our house. Money isn’t that important, but for me it’s more of a principle. I don’t think we should support lazy people who take advantage of others. How do I evict my father from the house without being a total jerk? My father is older and not in very good health. I think the woman my father is planning to marry, who is a little younger and doesn’t work as well, might see this as an opportunity to move into the house for free, since she knows it’s hard to evict squatters. Any advice please? — New York’s Frustrated Son
Dear Son: You and your family approved Your father should continue to depend on all of you to survive. Hopefully your aunt’s house is in your and your sister’s name, otherwise you have no say in who your father invites into his home. It’s time to stand firm. Consult a lawyer for legal advice on this matter. You are under no obligation to financially support someone your father likes and wants to live with, whether married or not.
Dear Abby: I am a 47 year old woman. I have been with my partner for 10 years. He used to be the most amazing guy but lately he has become cold, avoids emotional topics and is sometimes absent for days. When I bring it up he gets violent. All of a sudden he is belittling me and making me feel like I am not the beautiful person he always said I am. I broke up with him to save my sanity. Now he has promised to get counselling (together or separately) so he will get better and help me understand why he has changed 180 degrees. Should I believe him? Should I give him another chance? I love him but it is taking too long to heal and I can’t get out of self defense mode. What should I do? Walk or talk? Arizona Division
Dear Broken Person: You say you broke up with him, which is healthy. Some women endure abuse until their self-esteem is completely damaged. Since you still care about him, I think you should give him the second chance he is asking for. But that was after his promised counselling went smoothly. You not only deserve an apology, but an explanation for how you were treated. Don’t reconcile until you get that.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jean Phillips) and published by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To contact Dear Abby, please contact us at http://www.DearAbby.com or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
