Dear Abby: Uneasy Walks

Dear Abby: My husband and I enjoy walks by the local lake three times a week. We’ve met another couple, and while they seemed friendly at first, things took a turn when my husband mentioned the doctor’s name regarding my beauty mark. I wasn’t interested, and I made that clear.

The next time we ran into them, he brought it up again, and then for a third time, he suggested that most people would be upset with him for giving advice like that, but he thought I could handle it. Over the last few encounters, he’s commented on my body language, asking things like, “What’s going on with your hands?” and even noted my outfit choices. It feels like he’s making me uncomfortable on purpose while he laughs and tries to be charming.

Yesterday, he yelled, “Stop it!” as I was walking by. I kept going, but my husband wanted to chat with him. It seems like the man might be uncomfortable, yet he views me as misbehaving. I wish to avoid escalating this tension. Ideally, a quiet solution would be to find a different walking route, but my husband feels otherwise.

How should I handle this? My morning walks have become less enjoyable. Just because I can take some teasing doesn’t mean I want to be subjected to it. It’s frustrating to feel cast as the villain here. – Avoid in California

Dear Avoid: You’re not the villain here. Honestly, that guy seems a bit off. You should not feel obliged to engage with anyone who makes you uncomfortable. If your husband insists on conversing, he could do so while you’re not around. If he doesn’t recognize your discomfort, it may be best for you to find a new walking path.

Dear Abby: Considering a Move

Dear Abby: My husband and I are in our 70s and in decent shape, but I’ve been dealing with some hip issues, and the stairs in our large home have become quite bothersome. Many of my friends are transitioning into senior living, and I feel it’s time for us to consider doing the same.

Unfortunately, my husband dismisses my concerns with comments like, “I’ll just put this house on my legs first.” To avoid climbing stairs, I find myself carrying clothes down daily. I’ve tried to adapt as best as I can, but I’m even beginning to contemplate divorce as an option.

The reality is my husband can be quite selfish. The beautiful house and social groups he loves were primarily my doing, and I contributed equally financially. Counseling doesn’t seem like a viable option since he holds a degree in it himself. Any suggestions? – The end of my rope in Michigan

Dear End: It sounds like you need to take a stand. Consider investing in a stair lift or a small elevator for your house. If your husband is resistant to this idea, remind him that it would likely be cheaper than a divorce.