Dear Abby: I am not an attractive woman and never will be. I accept that and the fact that men don't find me attractive. My problem is that my friends want to hang out with attractive single women. They are all very attractive. When they try to introduce men to me, the men are clearly not interested and feel uncomfortable. How can I politely tell my girlfriends to stop trying to be my wingman? I'm perfectly fine with just watching them from the sidelines. — There are no beauty queens in Colorado.
Dear Beautiful Person: I'm sure your girlfriends mean well, and I'm sad that you encountered the rejection that you received. We live in a visual society, and unfortunately, not everyone is willing to look beneath the surface. I don't think you should give up on the idea of meeting someone special, but I'm not sure it's going to happen through these glamorous single women events.
Tell your girlfriend that you don't want her to introduce you to her like this anymore and explain why. Some people meet their soul mates at a bar, others find them in other ways. Once she knows that playing Cupid to your relationship has brought you more pain than joy, she'll understand why you can stay on the sidelines.
Dear Abby: Six years ago, I met a couple who had a vacation home near where we live. We became close friends and spent a lot of time together eating, drinking, and doing all kinds of fun things. After her husband passed away, it was just the three of us.
When I'm not near the vacation home and my husband is there, he still thinks it's appropriate to do things alone with this woman. He includes me in plans, but if I don't feel like driving 3 hours (I work and he's retired), they go out alone, but he always asks me if I'm OK with that, and I feel awkward saying “No, just stay home alone like me.”
I don't trust my husband and I don't trust his wife either because we don't have much in common like education, hobbies etc. She is a nice and good hearted person but we are not best friends. I feel so angry and resentful towards this behavior of husband and wife. The husband keeps insisting that it is a platonic friendship and nothing more.
I have told him many times that if he wants to be with her he should get a divorce. He insists that he doesn't and doesn't want to divorce me to be with her. I think he wants to have both. I am thinking of hiring a private investigator to find out the truth and get me rid of this feeling. What should I do? The East is suspicious
For those in doubt: What makes you think this woman is targeting your husband? Hire a private investigator if it makes you feel better. But if your suspicions turn out to be untrue, it's time to consult a licensed psychotherapist to help you overcome your deep insecurities.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jean Phillips) and published by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To contact Dear Abby, please contact us at http://www.DearAbby.com or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
