Dear Abby: A Mother’s Dilemma

I’m 65, single, and retired, taking care of my nearly 40-year-old daughter who has bipolar disorder. Although she’s compliant with her medication, she still struggles and sometimes needs hospitalization.

She’s not working and refuses to seek any form of assistance. I’ve stopped covering her expenses aside from food and shelter, including support for her dog.

Before her last release, I set some basic conditions: she needed to stick to her medication, clean up after herself and the dog, and there could be no drugs or alcohol in my home.

I gave her a three-month window to find a job. If she doesn’t meet these conditions, I’m preparing myself to stop supporting her. I really want to reclaim my own life. When is it acceptable to encourage her independence? – New Yorker

Response:

You might want to reflect on whether you’ve been enabling your daughter instead of genuinely helping her. If she’s unwilling to follow your rules, it’s time to stand firm. You’ve reached a point where living your own life must take priority.

Dear Abby: Parking Issues

I have a neighbor two doors down with five cars; four of them are parked on the street. Meanwhile, we consistently park in front of our own house, but the area across from their place is always available.

I left them a polite note asking them not to park in front of our house. Even though it’s a public street, I feel uncomfortable with their parking habits. Was it wrong for me to make that request? – Concerned Californian

Response:

You have every right to park in front of your home and share your feelings with them. Unfortunately, there’s little you can do if they’re not violating any local parking regulations. It’s a tricky situation.

Dear Abby: Workplace Conflict

On just my second day at a new job, a colleague swiped my candy bar. I confronted him, but he was already enjoying it. Everyone was watching as I spoke up. Later, he returned to my department and tossed me $21.62. Before I could respond, he seemed to throw it aggressively toward me.

His manager even defended his actions, claiming he was “just a nice boy,” suggesting I shouldn’t have called him out. Abby, who’s in the wrong here? Work feels tense now. I didn’t get my candy back, but I did get that cash. – Frustrated Employee

Response:

Have a private chat with your colleague to smooth things over. Let him know that the money for the candy isn’t what bothers you; it’s the fact that he took something without asking. You might consider returning the $21.62 after deducting the candy’s cost.

By the way, his manager misses the mark. That “nice boy” clearly has some attitude issues and lacks respect for others’ belongings.