The Bible teaches that by following Jesus, we become part of God’s singular family. However, many might argue that we’re not really living up to that familial bond, particularly in Western cultures. It seems, at least, that there’s a misunderstanding about the critical role of Christian hospitality.
At its core, loving one another is fundamental, especially among fellow believers, and it can serve as a way to bridge gaps with those around us. As the Apostle John reminds us (John 13:35), our love for one another should be evident to those who have yet to believe.
This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples: if you love one another.
But how did the early church embody this love? They engaged in regular gatherings—daily fellowship, shared meals, prayers, and teachings. Acts 2:42-47 illustrates families living in community, as we might say today, but it really implies a lifestyle of daily interdependence and sacrifice.
Have you ever wondered what it might look like if we aimed to replicate these early church practices? Rosaria Butterfield has thought deeply about this and even written about it in her book, “The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World.”
Radically Ordinary Hospitality
In the Butterfield household, it’s common to find more than just family around the dinner table. They frequently host communal dinners with church members that involve conversation, prayer, and sometimes even singing. Feeding large groups has become a regular occurrence.
Other church members contribute food and help organize these gatherings. Butterfield is committed to cultivating an environment of hospitality that strengthens family ties, where everyone is attuned to each other’s joys, struggles, and needs, resembling a true family dynamic.
While some small groups within churches might approximate this level of commitment, it seems fairly uncommon. In larger congregations, where fellowship isn’t prioritized, it’s all too easy to drift in and out on Sundays without establishing any meaningful connections.
This challenge is particularly acute for single individuals who may often leave after services without a place to go.
As Butterfield reflects in her book:
Kent and I practice daily hospitality as a way of life. We remember the loneliness that can accompany Sundays. It’s odd—on the Lord’s day, we belong to a family, but then we might find ourselves isolated during the week, like lonely orphans…. We believe that the Bible’s emphasis on community necessitates living closely together.
Is This ‘Radical’?
Many would find the Butterfields’ approach remarkable. Their home often hosts coordinated dinners, actively promoting shared living arrangements for singles, complete with collaborative chores and expenses.
If we really consider ourselves a family and hearken to God’s command to look after widows and orphans, then it raises some important, perhaps uncomfortable, questions:
- Why does someone have to go home alone after church—especially a single person? And why do families often leave without mingling with others?
- What’s with the emphasis on maintaining privacy and independence? Imagine if single Christians could rent a room in a Christian family’s home or share with other singles. Are we meant to live our lives in isolation? (Spoiler alert: the answer is no. Just look at Psalm 68:5-6.)
- Shouldn’t these practices be encouraged within our churches? (Yes.)
- How can we thoughtfully implement these ideas? (You know the answer.)
Defining Christian Hospitality
So, what exactly is Christian hospitality? I used to have this vision of opening my home—my choice, my timing—to chosen guests, serving exquisite meals with perfectly arranged décor and soft background music.
This ideal often leads to anxiety, and tips and recipes aimed at easing that stress just don’t cut it.
Butterfield asserts:
Our home is not our castle. Indeed, it’s not even truly ours.
This captures the essence of true Christian hospitality.
Our homes should be spaces where we love others, starting with both our family—by blood and spiritually. If we continuously use our homes to serve only our immediate family, why don’t we open them to all our families more frequently?
Why does hospitality feel like an exhausting task we have to prepare for?
From my perspective, it’s tough to practice biblical hospitality routinely when both partners are working full-time jobs. A stay-at-home spouse might find it easier to incorporate hospitality into daily life. Shouldn’t we aim to open our homes more often as a community practice?
Supporting Singles
So why not encourage singles from church communities to live with our families? After all, God placed them in our lives! Why do we overlook them or assume they prefer solitude in uninviting apartments?
Do we mistakenly believe this would negatively impact our children?
Butterfield disagrees, pointing out that the opposite is true:
It’s beneficial for children to be surrounded by various Christian adults who can model their faith through real-life situations.
That’s the heart of the matter. My home isn’t just mine, and yours isn’t solely yours. Our homes exist to be shared, first and foremost, with our families, which includes both our immediate families and our church communities.
This entails sacrifice. You may have to forgo walking around in comfort or binge-watching shows. It could even mean rethinking your work-life balance. This also applies to our time, resources, and efforts. Aren’t they meant to be shared?
A Broader View
Our homes should also serve as tools for reaching our neighbors, including both believers and non-believers. Here, I diverge slightly from Butterfield’s hospitality philosophy.
Throughout her book, she emphasizes that her home remains open to all—friends and neighbors alike—hoping for transformation through Christ. I resonate with this mission wholeheartedly.
However, I find potential issues in her approach. For one, she combines believers and non-believers in ways that don’t always mesh appropriately. Butterfield states:
Even those who don’t yet know the Lord are invited for food and fellowship.
This concept appears in her accounts of communal meals that blend church members and neighbors. While representing openness, such gatherings might blur important boundaries.
Interactions with non-believers can complicate the spiritual endeavors we pursue among believers. Scripture, such as 2 Corinthians 6:14, underscores that these different spiritual paths don’t converge easily.
Sharing intimate prayer requests or deeply personal issues should primarily occur in contexts meant for believers, as family is meant to be a “safe space.” Generally, this isn’t where those outside the faith belong.
While I respect Butterfield’s willingness to welcome neighbors, I feel her approach strays from a biblical view of familial fellowship.
So, can our homes extend love to our neighbors? Absolutely. Butterfield is spot on with that assertion, and her experiences exemplify how her family excels in this aspect. She’s also correct that Christian hospitality should extend beyond our church families. Still, that’s where we need to begin—opening our homes to fellow believers sets the groundwork for sharing with others.
We should start this practice now.
