What was your most criminal break-in with celebrities?
I knocked on Al Pacino at the party. It was located in the head of a UTA house in 2015. I stole a lot of food. They had really good Wagyu beef steaks so we took 10 pieces wrapped in cloth napkins, they were kind of bleeding. I was bunching them between my legs under my miniskirt and shuffling them as fast as I could from the party when I knocked on Al Pacino. And I left him on the ground as the steak leapt out from under my skirt and these bloody stripes remained on the white floor. I grabbed a steak and ran out of the party and texted Judd Apatow. “I’m sorry. I had to leave.
What are the best lessons you learned from the people you worked with?
It was from Ted Danson [star of The Good Place]I’m obsessed with not accepting anything that anyone would ever consider to be obvious. It is the human condition that adapts to anything, but he does not adapt to himself how lucky we are to do this job. And even in the 110-degree weather that we’re filming for 2am, 17 hours, he never lets his face see what he has enough. And he’s in his 70s! He knew he was the leader, so he was the eldest son and most experienced in a good place, so he knew that the entire energy of the cast and crew depended on him. So he continued it [energy] Even when he was sick, at the top of the daily filming. During the filming of that big season finale, he had pneumonia and we didn’t know. It taught me a great lesson about the importance of maintaining energy on set.
What is the best job you’ve ever had?
My favourite job was working in a video store for around four years, from 15 to 17 years, and between 19 and 21 years. My dream of life was to become the store manager. I dream of something like that, but the video store is gone. I loved the job for so many reasons, not because I was able to watch movies all day, not because you got to see people’s appointments. This is a pre-dating dating app, so you’ll see people trying to connect with someone on a Friday or Saturday night. You will see a woman watching a video she was watching and about to start a conversation with her. You know who in the village is cheating on each other – you got all the goths, it was just the best. And because it was the beginning of heroin chic, they gave it to me because everyone was on the Atkins diet and no one wanted the free Hagen Daz you got on a 2 dvd deal. I was just living my best fucking life. Honestly, I can’t think of a time when I’ve been more excited about going to work.
Are you secretly really good at it?
I’m good at drawing secretly. I whip it once every ten years when I forget someone’s birthday, and I have to pretend to remember – so I paint a portrait on them. It’s the only time that anyone can learn what I can draw. My boyfriend is the last person I learned to draw. I had forgotten to get him something for Christmas, so I left for a few hours, drew a bit of a picture, and it was like “Surprise!”
Is there a ritual when you first arrive at the hotel?
I always eat chocolate in bed. I’m worried that it might look like poop stains, so I write a note for maids who say “not poop” so that they’re not afraid of touching the poop – and I leave a $20 note. I’ll be cleaned before they enter too. So it takes years to get out of my hotel room because I’m obsessed with never thinking I’m a stab wound. I don’t care if other celebrities hate me or not.
What was the most confusing thing that’s ever happened on the set?
I had to continue filming after flipping over during a paint fight with a pop star on TV, breaking half my front teeth, breaking my nose and broken elbow. I had to use eyelash glue to put half of my teeth back together. That was pretty bad. And it was on the camera and they played four times on Channel 4 that day. At the time, I didn’t actually have social media, so it was in the viral form. If you look closely at the photo, you can see that there are cracks in the front teeth. If I fixed it because my other teeth are shit, I had to fix them all, so I couldn’t fix it.
What are your most controversial pop culture opinions?
Music is terrible now, so I think we need to bring the old people and unattractive people back to pop. Pop stars are too young and they sing about boring shit that only other very young people care about. And the model is enough. They have not experienced anything and their lyrics are annoying. I want people going back to music and not meeting beauty standards. You need to stop centering the 17-year-old Instagram model and Tiktok star. A lot of the amazing music we had would never have happened now because their people didn’t meet the standards of beauty. The Beatles, Phil Collins, Dusty Springfield. Music suffers from too many attractive people.
Which word do you hate the most?
I hate the term “gloriously aging.” I think they are another way of abuse women between rocks and difficult places. “Don’t get older, but if so, do nothing to stop aging.” You are intended to “age gracefully.” This means you will live until you reach 30 and then die. It’s a nasty, elitist, stupid little phrase that applies to women succumbing to the enormous pressure of not appearing to be aging. I am “aging peacefully.”
What is the stupidest thing you did to get attention to serious things?
To demonstrate the dangers of diet tea, which is actually just a laxative, I posted a realistic ad of myself screaming, shooting in the toilet, clearly pretending to be shit. I decided to do it, an hour later it was done and then I sent it to my team – and I have a long chain pleading with me not to post it. But it has gone viral all over the world, and has now changed their global policies about showing diet ads to people under the age of 18 on Facebook and Instagram. And that was the beginning of the world when I realized what I was saying about dieting culture. That’s the stupidest and most effective thing I’ve ever done.
What are the biggest surviving internet troll tips?
I was a massive troll and bitch on the internet, but that’s because I was unhappy because I wasn’t lying down and didn’t deal with mental health. Now I remember how people felt when they were scared of me on the internet, when they were scared of others on the internet. No one is writing scary comments online to strangers. There are a lot of very sad, unstable people who are not well decorated. If they’re bothering you, they just need to have a wok. I don’t dislike it, masturbation.
