Kristi Noem kills puppy, unites America 

Kristi Noem will not serve as vice president. But history will remember her as one of the most unifying politicians of her generation.

In her new autobiography, she Number 2 in 2 years …. Who knew there was so much going on in South Dakota? — Noem tell a story A 14-month-old puppy was killed because he misbehaved during a hunting trip and then killed several chickens. Noem decided the puppy was “dangerous” and “hated” and took him out to the gravel pit. I shot it.

Noem believes this story shows that she can make difficult decisions. Most others think this is an indication that she may be a sociopath with anger management issues.

To top this all off, Noem explains: the children came home from school Apparently he was expecting this “dangerous” animal to get excited and lick his face, so he had to explain what had happened. It is something that usually surfaces after years of therapy and is not written into the mother’s autohagiography.

The reaction was swift and unanimous across political lines: “Killing puppies is wrong.” MAGA conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer tweeted“You can’t be vice president and kill puppies,” while the Lincoln Project There was an advertisement Blame Nomu within hours.Biden campaign tweeted A photo of Biden and Harris with their dog.in one poll, 81 percent of Americans condemned Noem’s actions.flat Breitbart abandoned her.

Noem tried to do some cleanup on Sunday; statement trying to justify her actions. “I decided on my behavior considering that Cricket had shown aggressive behavior by biting people.” Unfortunately, this meant that the puppy “tried to bite me,” she said. does not match the original account of the incident claimed by. So, while her dog may have stuck its teeth at her or bit her, she never claims to have actually been bitten.

In some ways, the worst thing about this story is that it marks her out as someone with poor judgment and an irresponsible gun owner. Noem admitted that she “hated” dogs, and after shooting Cricket, she decided to move on. kill the family goat This was because it smelled bad and because he “liked chasing” children, knocking them over and tearing their clothes to pieces. Noem’s kids were eager to participate and 10 would go to 20 to show that they thought goat repelling was a lot of fun.

In other words, Noem went wild. The first rule of responsible gun ownership is: never pick up a gun when you’re angry. The fact that Noem is unaware of that makes her lack of self-control and introspection even more disturbing than the fact that she shot her misbehaving puppy, if that’s even possible.

For once, there will be consequences for outrageous behavior. Nomu will not be Donald Trump’s running mate, as was long predicted. In fact, I fully expect President Trump to go on a pro-puppy rant on Truth Social, hopefully throwing Nomu under the bus in an unintentional parody of his famous “taco bowl.” Tweet.

So we all owe Kristi Noem a debt of gratitude. First, let’s talk about the gift of Schadenfreude. It’s a rare gift to see her explode so spectacularly. But most of all, it gave us hope that there might be something that could unite us, regardless of politics. I would have preferred something a little further north than “killing puppies”, but I’ll take what I can get.

chris tuax He is a Republican and an appellate lawyer.