Josh Howerton once thought anxiety attacks were just another way people described having a bad day. The BlazeTV host and Lakepointe Church pastor changed his mind after enduring a period of anxiety that left him feeling overwhelmed.
“I’ve never experienced a hell like that,” he told Louie Giglio, pastor of Passion City Church in Atlanta. Giglio has also struggled with anxiety and later wrote a book about his experience, along with practical and spiritual approaches to understanding anxious thoughts and finding peace through faith.
Speaking with Howerton, Giglio recalled that he used to feel sympathy for people dealing with depression or anxiety, but didn’t fully understand what they were going through. That changed one night when he became convinced he might die.
He described severe physical symptoms, including a racing heart, numbness in his face and arm, and convulsing legs. After a hospital visit and medication, he expected to recover quickly. Instead, he said, his condition worsened.
Giglio believes he had what amounted to a nervous breakdown. For about four months, he said, he was unable to work, attend meetings or preach. He feared he would never feel normal again and thought he was losing his mind.
He credits God and worship with helping him emerge from that period. One part of his recovery, he said, was reminding himself of what he believed to be true: that God was with him and that he was not “crazy.”
During the worst of it, Giglio would wake at 2 a.m. with a feeling of heavy pressure on his chest. Advice from others didn’t seem to lift the darkness. Instead, he began speaking to God and praising Him not because he had been healed, but because he believed God was a healer.
One night, Giglio said, a spontaneous song came to him. It didn’t end his struggles immediately, but it gave him a small opening in what had felt like unrelenting darkness. He described worship as a weapon, and said that, over time, the song helped him push through.
The song became “I Lift My Hands,” later recorded by Christian artist Chris Tomlin and nominated for a Grammy. Giglio said he shared his story while touring with Tomlin, including at large arena shows. He was surprised by how many people responded to hearing a Christian speaker talk openly about depression, and said he saw a wave of freedom among the audience.
